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Coping with myeloma can be difficult. There is help and support available. There are things you can do, people to help and ways to cope with a diagnosis of myeloma.

Your feelings

You might have a number of different feelings when you're told you have cancer. You may feel shocked and upset. You might also feel:

  • numb
  • frightened and uncertain
  • confused
  • angry and resentful
  • guilty

You may have some or all of these feelings. Or you might feel totally different. Everyone reacts in their own way. Sometimes it's hard to take in the fact that you have cancer at all.

Experiencing different feelings is a natural part of coming to terms with cancer. All sorts of feelings are likely to come and go.

Helping yourself

You may be more able to cope and make decisions if you have information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Information helps you to know what to expect.

Taking in information can be difficult, especially when you have just been diagnosed. Make a list of questions before you see your doctor. Take someone with you to remind you what you want to ask and help remember the answers.

Ask your doctors and nurses to explain things again if you need them to.

Remember that you don’t have to sort everything out at once. It might take some time to deal with each issue. Ask for help if you need it.

You will see your haematologist, clinical nurse specialist and pharmacist regularly. You will have lots of opportunities to ask questions. 

Your clinical nurse specialist (CNS)

When you are first diagnosed with myeloma you will meet a clinical nurse specialist. They have specialist knowledge and skills in the care and support of people with myeloma. They work closely with your doctors.

Your CNS can give you information and support about:

  • myeloma
  • possible treatment options
  • side effects
  • symptoms
  • your follow up care
  • support for you and your family

They can talk through any of the information your doctors have given you and answer your questions. They will give you a contact number you can call if you have a question or are not feeling well

They can be a link to other health care professionals you might need in the hospital and in the community. Coping with myeloma can be difficult. Getting information and support that you need will help you and your family to cope.

Your CNS can also help with issues such as finding financial support, psychological support or local support groups.

Talking to other people

Talking to your friends and relatives about your cancer can help and support you. But some people are scared of the emotions this could bring up and won’t want to talk. They might worry that you won't be able to cope with your situation.

It can strain relationships if your family or friends don't want to talk. But talking can help increase trust and support between you and them.

Help your family and friends by letting them know if you would like to talk about what’s happening and how you feel.

You might find it easier to talk to someone outside your own friends and family. We have cancer information nurses you can call on freephone 0808 800 4040, from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.

Or you may prefer to see a counsellor.

Coping practically

Practical things you and your family might need to cope with include:

  • money matters
  • financial support, such as benefits, sick pay and grants
  • work issues
  • childcare

Talk to your doctor or specialist nurse to find out who can help. Getting help early with these things can mean that they don’t become a big issue later.

Relationships and sex

The physical and emotional changes you have might affect your relationships and sex life. There are things that you can do to manage this.

Last reviewed: 
30 Mar 2020
Next review due: 
30 Mar 2023
  • Cancer and its management (7th edition)
    J Tobias and D Hochhauser
    Wiley-Blackwell, 2015