Family, friends and carers and cancer
It can be difficult and upsetting to see the person you care about crying and distressed. Remember that this can be an important release for them.
Get some support and help for yourself if you are finding it hard to cope with the diagnosis. You might be experiencing a range of different emotions. Some people might feel guilty for being healthy.
You may find it helpful to talk to a family member or friend. There are also people and organisations who can help if these feelings are overwhelming for you.
You might find our online forum useful where you can chat with people in a similar situation.
You could look for a support group in your local area. Or ask your GP to refer you for some counselling. If you are a member of a religious group you could get support from them.
Caring for someone is extremely physically and emotionally tiring especially when they are a loved one. It will help you both if you look after yourself.
Eat well – try to eat healthily and have regular meals.
Be active – this could be a short walk or more structured exercise, it is good for both your physical and emotional wellbeing.
Get enough sleep – this can be difficult if you are worrying, talk to your doctor about it if it is a problem.
Talk to other friends or family about how you’re feeling, sharing your feelings can help you in the same way it can help the person with cancer.
Take breaks – when you’re caring for someone especially someone you love it is extremely tiring, you’ll be able to cope better if you do have breaks.
Read more about looking after your mental health when caring for someone with cancer
A respite break (sometimes called ‘respite’) is a temporary break from caring, when someone else looks after the person with cancer. This might be in their home, or they might go to a care home or a hospice.
How long the respite break is will depend on your situation and the services available in your area. The types of respite available can include:
day centres or hospices where the person with cancer can attend for the day
a short stay in a care home or hospice
overnight care from a Marie Curie nurse
Your GP or local social services can tell you what help might be available in your area.
Visit the Marie Curie website for more information about respite care
When you’re looking after someone with cancer you might have extra needs such as financial or physical ones.
Perhaps you have had to give up work to care for someone or maybe you need a break from caring as things are getting too much. Whatever your situation, there is support available.
The following organisations can provide help for carers.
Gives information and support to carers on many issues. Has local groups all over the UK. The head office puts you in touch with your local group.
Helpline: 0808 808 7777 - Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm (including Bank Holidays) Email:advice@carersuk.org
Provides information and support, including advice on financial support to carers. The website has a search function to find local support in your area.
Visit the Carers Trust website
Macmillan Cancer Support is a charity that gives practical and medical support to people with cancer in the UK. Its helpline offers support with clinical, emotional, general and welfare benefits needs. They also publish booklets about cancer and treatments. Information is available in other languages.
Freephone: 0808 808 00 00 (7 days a week, 8am to 8pm) Contact email form
Visit the Macmillan Cancer Support website
Maggie’s is a national charity with centres across the UK. They offer care and support to people affected by cancer. Each centre is beside an NHS cancer hospital and is run by specialist staff.
You can join a support group, take part in weekly sessions like relaxation and stress management, or learn about nutrition and health. You can also visit just to have a cup of tea and a friendly chat.
Phone: 0300 123 1801 Email:enquiries@maggies.org
Marie Curie is the UK’s leading end of life charity. They provide frontline nursing and hospice care, a free support line and a wealth of information and support on all aspects of dying, death and bereavement. They also have information for carers on their website.
Last reviewed: 08 Mar 2024
Next review due: 08 Mar 2027
When you are supporting someone with cancer, it can be hard to know what to say. Listening is just as important as talking.
After a diagnosis of cancer, you might have a range of feelings including fear, sadness, anxiety and depression. These are normal responses to a stressful life experience.
Find out about managing cancer symptoms and possible side effects from cancer treatment. There is information about pain, sickness, diet problems and much more.
Get information on coping with practical matters such as money and travel, as well as treatment for overseas visitors.
You and your family might find these books and booklets useful. There are general books on cancer, and books on treatment and coping.
Search for the cancer type you want to find out about. Each section has detailed information about symptoms, diagnosis, treatment, research and coping with cancer.
About Cancer generously supported by Dangoor Education since 2010. Learn more about Dangoor Education
Search our clinical trials database for all cancer trials and studies recruiting in the UK.
Connect with other people affected by cancer and share your experiences.
Questions about cancer? Call freephone 0808 800 40 40 from 9 to 5 - Monday to Friday. Alternatively, you can email us.
