How cancer can make you feel
Many different factors come together to cause a cancer. Often, chance plays a big part and the cancer is not due to anything that you have done. Some people are more likely to develop a cancer because of the genes they inherited at birth. But most cancers are not due to an inherited gene.
Cancers start because of a mistake in copying DNA when normal cells are dividing and growing. Several of these mistakes have to happen before a cell becomes cancerous.
Although some of our unhealthy behaviour can increase the risk of mistakes in our genes, the mistakes can also just happen by chance as our cells divide and grow.
Even when people know this they may still wonder if the cancer has been caused by something they did.
Because chance plays its part, and doctors rarely know exactly what has caused a cancer, there's no reason to blame yourself or other people. Even so, sometimes it can be hard to get rid of these feelings. Talking about your feelings does help.
You might feel angry with other people. This might be:
people close to you
doctors and nurses who are caring for you
your God if you are religious
people who are well (why should this have happened to you and not to someone else)
Relatives and friends don't always realise that you are angry about your illness. They might think you are angry with them.
It may help to tell them how you feel at a time when you are not feeling angry. You could ask them to read these pages if talking is difficult.
These feelings may crop up from time to time throughout your illness and treatment.
Relatives may also be angry that your illness has changed things for them and feel that it has caused trouble in their lives. Often this is not even a conscious thought, but their feelings of anger can still be strong.
Expressing your feelings and discussing them openly can help. Bottling them up can make everyone feel upset and cross.
It might help to talk to a trained counsellor or psychologist if you are finding it hard to talk to your family.
Maudsley Learning, part of the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, has a set of cancer and mental wellbeing videos for people affected by cancer.
The videos have information and advice on what to do if a cancer diagnosis affects your mental health. They cover several topics, including breaking bad news, managing anxiety, common reactions to a diagnosis, and relationships.
Last reviewed: 03 Nov 2022
Next review due: 03 Nov 2025
After a diagnosis of cancer, you might have a range of feelings including fear, sadness, anxiety and depression. These are normal responses to a stressful life experience.
Counselling can help you come to terms with your cancer. Understanding what it is and how it can help, can help you decide if it is right for you.
There are a few ways to go about finding a counsellor.
Being depressed is much more intense than feeling down or sad. Feeling sad now and then is part of life, but depression is a much stronger feeling.
There are things you can do to help yourself manage your feelings and emotions.
Whether you are someone with cancer or a carer for someone with cancer, we want you to know that it is common to struggle with your mental health when dealing with a cancer diagnosis. But there are people who can support you during this time and things you can do to help yourself.
About Cancer generously supported by Dangoor Education since 2010. Learn more about Dangoor Education
Search our clinical trials database for all cancer trials and studies recruiting in the UK.
Meet and chat to other cancer people affected by cancer.
Questions about cancer? Call freephone 0808 800 40 40 from 9 to 5 - Monday to Friday. Alternatively, you can email us.
