Living with breast cancer
The first few months after surgery can be very upsetting. You might have intense feelings including:
grief
fear
shock
anger
Your self confidence might also be affected.
People react very differently to surgery. Most women need time to come to terms with changes to their breast. You need to give yourself time to adjust. It can feel hard to imagine that you will feel a little better as time goes on.
There will still be emotional ups and downs and you may find anxieties coming back at certain times, such as when you go for a check up. New situations, such as being with a new partner, might bring up more insecurities.
Talking to people who have had similar experiences can help. Ask your breast care nurse about good local or online support groups. You can contact Cancer Research UK's online forum called Cancer Chat.
Women deal with the changes to their bodies in different ways. You might prefer to see the results of the surgery for the first time when you are alone. Or you might want someone to be with you when you take your first look.
It can be hard to accept changes to the way you look. Your surgeon will do all they can to make sure your scars are as discreet as possible. They will fade with time. But it might take up to a year for things to settle.
You might be worried about how your children will see you and how it might affect them. It is normal to worry about these things. But the people closest to you won't see you any differently as a person.
There are several things that might help you to cope with changes in the way your breasts look.
Talk through your treatment with your surgeon and breast care nurse before your operation. It can help you cope if you know exactly what they are going to do, and how you will look.
Your healthcare team can help you understand what to expect, and cope with any side effects or emotions you may have.
You are likely to be very swollen and sore just after surgery but this won't last too long. You will have painkillers to take. Follow the instructions your nurse gives you about when and how often to take them. Contact your healthcare team if you still have pain or if your pain gets worse.
Read more about what happens after surgery
Some people find it reassuring to talk to people who have had similar experiences but it isn't helpful for everyone. Your surgeon or breast care nurse might be able to put you in touch with someone who has had a similar operation.
It's usually best to wait until a day or two after your operation before you first look in a mirror.
You might prefer to see the results of the surgery for the first time when you are alone. Or you might want someone to be with you when you take your first look.
Your first view can be a shock. You might see stitches and the area might be bruised or swollen. So it might help if you have someone there to support you.
The hospital staff will be very aware of your feelings and will do everything they can to reassure and help you.
You might get the best support from your close family and friends. You might feel worried about upsetting them. But it can help to share your feelings and the people close to you will want to support you. They may feel privileged that you have chosen to confide in them.
Sometimes counselling can help you to work through any worries you have.
Breast surgery doesn't affect you being able to have sex. But your emotions might change your sexual feelings for a while. And you might worry about allowing your partner to see or touch your body.
There is no right or wrong way to approach this. You might feel very sensitive and need time before you feel ready to be looked at or touched by your partner. Or you might need almost instant comfort and find that a loving touch relieves your fear of being rejected.
Try and let your partner know if you're having problems with your intimate relationships after the changes to your body. You might find it helpful to take them with you for clinic visits before the operation. That way they will be prepared for how you will look after surgery.
There are many people who can help and support you. Not everyone feels comfortable asking for help. Talk to someone you trust. Some organisations can put you in touch with people in your area who have been through the same experience.
Find out about organisations that can help and support you
Sharon had surgery in 2016.
‘I never thought I would get back to full strength, it took me a while to enjoy life fully again.’
Last reviewed: 30 Jul 2026
Next review due: 30 Jul 2029
Most people begin their breast cancer treatment with surgery. There are different types of surgery for breast cancer including lumpectomy and mastectomy.
Read about what happens after breast surgery, exercises you need to do, and how to cope with possible problems.
You may find it difficult coping with a diagnosis of breast cancer both practically and emotionally. There are things you can do and people who can help you to cope with your diagnosis.
There are many organisations, support groups, videos and other resources to help you cope with breast cancer and its treatment. There is also information about mastectomy wear and prosthesis suppliers.
Breast cancer is cancer that starts in the breast tissue. It’s the most common cancer in the UK. It mainly affects women, but men can get it too.
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