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Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

17 Jan 2021 20:24 in response to Lisa.C

Ok I'm glad you're doing something proactive  kind of wish you sent a text to me around lunchtime  you have helped me so much 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

17 Jan 2021 20:28 in response to Chris2020

You have helped me too

No one else can understand how we're feeling other than people who have been through that too.

I never thought about a message I was wallowing in self pity at that time. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:07 in response to Lisa.C

Hi how are you just checking your ok  your not on hear that much anymore

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:09 in response to Chris2020

Yes im here, I'm always here. 
 

how are you doing today?

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:17 in response to Lisa.C

I'm ok trying to keep busy  busy with the kids home schooling as well  I'm ok but find my self angry  that I'm to busy to cry, I keep saying   Dead is forever? And I can't understand that she is gone  I try and think she is on holiday and will be back soon! Dead gone forever she can't be  even if I no the truth  

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:20 in response to Chris2020

I know but I'm a person who always reads up on stuff and being angry and struggling to believe their gone is part og grief. There are times when I think I'm mad and I'm like I'm cracked this is it I want to die what the hell is going on and it's part of grief. Apparently it takes time for your brain to catch up with what's happened. 
 

Which sucks. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:29 in response to Lisa.C

It kind of makes sense brain needs to catch up hope it's soon? Saying that I don't want  to forget anything I was robbed of my future we had planned just like yourself s they went to soon in my opinion. Glad your reading up on stuff hope you stay strong as you can 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:33 in response to Chris2020

Yes I think it's a nurse thing. If I don't know something I always read up on it, medications, weird and wonderful diseases, I was terrible for googling what was wrong with Lewis. 
yes we were robbed, I feel like I don't know where my life is going now. Hopefully I will feel more purposeful when im back at work but im nowhere near ready for that yet. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 21:40 in response to Lisa.C

I feel the same that's if I can go back to work   My wife was in charge of the family and I made some money so who knows I guess that's not important to me right now anyway. I guess I need to except this  is that what your doing?  Have you got a special way of dealing with grief?

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

19 Jan 2021 23:03 in response to Chris2020

No way really. 
I lost grandparents, aunt and uncle but I was young so it didn't really affect me. This is something completely different.
I try to plan a couple of things to do for the day like change the bed sheets empty dishwasher take out recycling, if it doesn't get done no fuss. I watch tv a lot I've just started watching the flash again. Far too much online shopping. I have my crafty bits but I dont do it every day, I've ordered some puzzles today. I'm going to see my work friends tomorrow for a change of scene. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

21 Jan 2021 11:05 in response to Lisa.C

I can't do this  The mornings are killing me my flight or fight is what's wrong with me I'm worrying  to the point where I freak out but I remember what my wife would say  to me and I can kind of keep it together I had this crazy dream to but I was at a train station obviously waiting for my wife to turn up but the train came and she never did and I had to make my own way home soo sad i'm not getting any better I know I'm not

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

21 Jan 2021 11:10 in response to Chris2020

Have you talked to your GP? I spoke to mine yesterday she gave me some diazepam to help with the anxiety attacks when I feel like I can't stop crying, she told me to take one at night to help with sleep and I can take them during the day to help me if I get bad. It took a while to get to sleep but I feel calm and in control right now I only took one last night. 
Have you looked at cruse bereavement also? You can talk to them on the phone or a like a text chat thing might be helpful. 
 

I had a dream the other night that Lewis was at home and making a mess and I was like since you've been gone the  flat has been so much tidier! It was a funny dream. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

21 Jan 2021 11:57 in response to Lisa.C

Yes spoke to Dr wanted any tablets and I wanna stay alert for the children so not sure on sleeping tablets ? Maybe something to calm my nerves might help?  Will look at 

 counselling 

glad you had a lovely dream 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

21 Jan 2021 12:01 in response to Chris2020

Have you heard of rescue remedy it's a herbal thing but people say it helps. I bought some sleep spray it's like lavender and other nice smells that just smell nice on the pillows. 

Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

21 Jan 2021 12:06 in response to Lisa.C

No I've not heard of them I do use kalms  it's A herbal tablet works ok  i'll try and find some sleep spray