Really, really tough, Liz. For my part, both I and my wife have had cancer, but unlike your poor husband our prognoses are both good. 

There are no answers to what is the most horrible period of your life. All you can do is get through it, somehow, day by day. But rest assured that everyone on this site feels, and understands, what you are going through, and send you all their support and love.  x Harry

Hi Harry, thank you so much for responding - it means a lot. Life can be brutal can’t it?

I’m sorry to hear about you and your wife both having cancer - it just doesn’t make sense does it? I’m glad though that you both have good prognoses. Are you both having treatment? 

All the best for the new year and my thoughts and good wishes are with you x

Hi i can't do much but wish and hope you're husbands treatment works, People can live with cancer i was diagnosed Feb 2016 prostate gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung, stage 4 had palliative chemo. Just living with my uninvited guest, my cancer has shrunk for so long, as it starts to spread again more chemo. Again good luck...........p. S I've been living a normal life. Had to retire to look after my disabled wife........

Billy 

Hi Liz

So sorry to read your post and the awful worrying time you are going through.

I hope your husband improves after this 2nd chemo.

Thinking of you all and sending hugs xx

Hello again Liz, Thanks! We both had treatment some time ago, and now have regular check ups. We both needed surgery only: no chemo or radiotherapy. Check ups are always a bit scary, but we know that in both our cases chances of a recurrence are low, so we don't worry that much.

Hello Pronetopanic

Welcome to the forum but I'm sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.

It's obviously an incredibly difficult time for you both. I'm glad to hear that you have good support around you from friends and family and that you're seeing a counsellor. As you mention that you've already been prescribed medication to help with your anxiety disorder I'm presuming that you're in regular contact with your GP as well. 

You have so much on your plate at the moment. Caring for your husband, your two small children, working; it's not surprising that you feel overwhelmed at times. I think it would be more unusual if you weren't. What you are dealing with is both physically and emotionally exhausting. I'm sure that it's already been said to you by others, maybe on more than one occasion, but please do make sure that you're taking care of yourself too. 

I can see already that some of our members here have posted replies to your message. You are welcome to post here any time that you feel it helps. Be it to ask questions, chat to others who may understand or to just offload how you're feeling in a safe space. I'm sure that the community will do what they can to help. 
I wanted to let you know that we also have a team of nurses here you can call for support and advice if you think it would help at any point. They are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

I hope that posting here on the forum has helped you. 
Sending our best wishes to you both, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hello Liz,

I just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing a brilliant job with looking after your husband , dealing with all the illness brings,your two young children and working. With everything going on for you it is no surprise you have  insomnia, some increased suspicious thinking around other people's perceptions that you are not good enough etc.  when under immense stress  your thoughts can  snowball to I'm going to get sectioned I'm going to lose the kids .... our minds have a knack of going to the worst imaginable.  Then obviously off of this comes further anxiety emotions and the thoughts and paranoia go deeper. You recognize already you have this tendency . This is a really really tough time liz and you need a tool kit of things you can pull out the bag .... small things that will help you every day to harness some strength for yourself to cope with this.  

If you do think your mental health is slipping  or self harm has been an issue for you in the past and it's being triggered now ask your gp for a referral to the community mental health team . If I can reassure you as far as is possible mental health services want to keep people out of hospital and sectioning someone is a very last resort .

Might sound flaky but If you can spare 15 minutes I know just with the kids it's hard but  do some bodily and mind relaxation just to give your brain  a break xx thinking of you my lovely xx

Hi Billy,

thank you so much for your response. It means a lot that there is such a supportive community out there. It’s so encouraging to hear how well treatment has her working for you, enabling you to live alongside your illness, especially also whilst being a Carer for your wife. All the best for you and your wife and long may your cancer be able to be controlled x

Thank you for posting and for your well wishes. I hope you are doing ok? Going to check out some of your posts now x

Hello

My husband also aged 40 has been diagnosed with the same cancer just before Christmas. We have 3 young children. Surgery is not an option for him either. Just started chemo. What type is your husband getting? 

I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious about what the future is going to bring too.

Sending you big hugs.