My civil partner Neil and I have been together for almost 47 years. Neil is almost 83 and I'm 69.We found out my partner Neil has lung cancer almost 3 weeks ago. He is being incredibly courageous about it all. I, on the other hand, feel like a refugee in a foreign world with a very heavy lead blanket that has been thrown over me. I HAVE to be strong but am finding it very difficult and I cannot concentrate for longer than a few seconds.