I'm not sure what to put here, my dad has cancer not me but I'll tell you a bit about me because it says "about me". I'm 42, single mum to a boy, 22 who's a second year law student and a girl, 19 who's a student nurse, I also have beautiful twin girls, nearly 7, they're my absolute world all of them! I've always worked full time but went part time 4 years ago because it was too much juggling work and young babies. I've been on sick leave for a few months because I was bullied really badly by my employer and was signed off as reccomended by my consultant. It's the first time I've ever taken sick leave. I was due to go back to a new job three weeks ago. On my way to my interview my mum rang me that dad had been rushed to hospital, two days later on my way in to actually start my job dad rung me freaking out that he was coughing up blood, couldn't breathe and so I changed direction and went to him and called an ambulance. My dad has stage 4 lung cancer, spread to his liver and lymphs. He's in an absolute state and getting the help for him has been impossible. Mum has severe anxiety/ mental health issues and we have just worked out that the two of them are a bit autistic so very hard to deal with. I'm in absolute pieces at the moment, I'm devastated my dad is dying, I'm looking after both parents as mum needs a lot of support. She's already messed up his medication and taken him out about an hour from home without enough oxygen. I cannot leave them to it. I can't go back to work because I have to be with them but I can't see how I can't not work and it's giving me sleepless nights (hence posting here at 5am!). I am worried sick and just do not know how to sort this out long term. I'm very negative with this whole cancer thing because we have had so many problems with the NHS since dad got diagnosed. Everything from nurses with a spiteful uncaring attitude to the palliative care team and my dads GP being unable to agree on treatment. I am normally a hugely positive person. We're vegetarian, do a lot of mindfulness and are pretty quiet people. We don't like confrontation or arguments we genuinely are live and let live types. As long as everyone's happy and nobody is getting hurt were fine. This has really knocked us. My son has taken the news really badly and I'm failing to get dad what he needs. It's an absolute minefield and I can't make sense of it all meanwhile my poor dad is wasting away. I'm the one everyone expects to be strong and to get results but this time I'm strong but getting nowhere. I don't know what else to write or if I've even written the right things in this space. I don't do any sort of social media so posting and talking about us is really new to me but I've had lots of lovely support here and thank you to everyone for that. Having had the children and the various things I've experienced through the NHS I can probably help other people in various situations so I'm happy to join in and help as well as receiving support from you guys. Thanks for reading this long story!! Best wishes to absolutely everyone here.