Hello Sarah,

I am so sorry to hear you are suffering so profoundly. I lost my dad too and found the first year unbarable. It has got better but the feeling of loss can never really go away when they mean so much to us. If your dad meant this much to you imagine how much you meant to him! No dad wishes for his child to experience his pain.
Please find someone to talk to regularly. I found bereavement councilling allowed me to process what I was going through and return to a functioning life. You will never be alone in these feelings. If you can also talk to your friends and family - They will want to support you in this time and would hate for you to feel alone.
One of the turning points for me was creating a memory book as a present to my mum of all of the memories they shared. We had a really big cry and talk together over it and it brought back all of the happiness I had felt about my dad. This may not work for you but you may find something similar that does. Three years on I more often than not smile when I think about dad and feel he is somewhere smiling to.

The best advice I can give is to share this pain with someone. Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Hi, thank you for taking the time to reply to me.  I’m finding it difficult to find someone to talk to. My husband lost his dad 3 years ago suddenly at the age of 60 and he has found it almost impossible to support me. My mum has a long term illness so I can’t add to the stress she is already in. Every time I approach the subject to friends or colleagues they just don’t understand, they make comments like you have to look on the bright side, think about your daughter.... which is all said and good as most of them haven’t lost any parents, or they have much later in life. I feel like they are thinking how much longer am I going to drag this out for. 

I never in a million years dreamed that my dad would be gone like this, we need him. My little girl was just six months old when he fell ill, he deserved to see her grow up. My little girl doesn’t have any grampys now and she is only 2.