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Why didn’t I see how I’ll my dad was...

18 Sep 2019 00:12

hi everyone, 

 

as i I do most nights before I go to bed I go through photos and videos of my dad. Tonight I have come across one,-‘s it is blatant that my daddy was extremely ill. 

Why didn’t I notice this? If I had done, I would of spent Moreno time with him. This was only a couple of days before my life was changed forever. I feel terrible that I went back home , even though i was coming down the following day. 

 

I feel as as if I was blind as to seeing how I’ll my daddy really was, and that I just didn’t recognise such signs :’(

 

 

Why didn’t I see how I’ll my dad was...

18 Sep 2019 09:02 in response to Rebecca94

Hi rebecca 

I know exactly where you are coming from. My mum died of a massive brain hemorrhage on the 14th june. It was a massive shock for me and then the post mortem revealed that she had severe heart disease and had evidence of a historic heart attack.

Why didnt I notice all this? She was still doing all my childcare, getting up at 5am to have a cup of tea with me before work, doing food shopping to make my life easier.

My partner says we probably prolonged her life by getting her so involved in our lives and providing her company by having her to live with us, but I just feel so guilty.

If I had seen her decline I would have made her slow down and she may still be with us now.

Perhaps guilt is just simply part of grief no matter what our circumstances are.

Try not to put yourself through what I am x

Why didn’t I see how I’ll my dad was...

18 Sep 2019 17:59 in response to C1971

hi @C1971 ‍ Thankyou soo much for messaging. 

 

I am sorry for your loss of your mother, my heart goes out to you. 

Thankyou so much for taking your time and commenting on my post. Your words, put me at ease and I’m glad that I’m not the only person that feels this way. I mean, just like you, it was obvious that my father was extremely unwell. My father’s cancer was diagnosed as terminal May 2018- and I still felt as if the day wasn’t going to come and was blind to everything. My father fought and fought and he’s such a strong man. I am so proud of him and he will always have a place in my heart- forever and always. 

 

I really do hope that we meet again. 

 

If only i could turn back time.

 

 

beccca x