Oh my ... This is cancer at it's crulest ... I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain ... But there's only one thing that will do that ... I have come so close to loosing my baby 37 a couple of times and still get flash backs ... 

So all I'd say is picture in your mind that heathy son, push how he is now to the back of your mind ... And know your not alone ... So many are loosing loved ones ... Too many ... But this is the hardest loss ever ... He will live forever in your heart and no one , not even cancer can take that away ...

I'm sending you a big vertual hug from one mum to another ... Hold on my hunny ... Keep talking to him even when you think he can't hear you .. they just may ... Chrissie .xx

Dear Charlotte

I feel your pain, as a mum you want to make it all better and you cant, it is the worst feeling in the world.  All I can say is try to cherish each day hard as it is.  To see your child in pain and suffering is just horrendous. My 35 year old son died in Jan 2017 of bowel cancer and secondary liver cancer and we talked and laughed and cried a lot with him. He was very frightened of dying painfully and that is the only thing that i am ever grateful for is that he slipped away peacefully.  You will get through this time because your inner resilience will come to the fore and you will be strong for him.  There is nothing that i can say to make this better because the truth is it your child should not die before you, that is not the right order of things.  I hope that you and your family can make the most of this time even though your beloved son is  so so poorly.  Sending you virtual hugs and the love of a mum who knows how you are suffering on every level.

lesliexxx

Always here if you want to chat Charlotte  ... Or vent ... Thinking of you ....  X

Thank you all for your care and replies. I'm having a very hard time and I dont have many outlets. My son is getting worse daily and although I've witnessed death many times due to my line of work, it is with geriatric patients and my son is only 26. So I never know what to expect day to day as I do at work. Plus well it's my baby.  Just very difficult 

Hi ...

This is when I wish I had a magic wand ... cancer sucks big time ... there's lots of us here that will listen , no matter what you need to say ... know wer here for you ... my heart is braking just thinking of the pain you must be going through ... we bring them into the world ... now your holding his hand, at this time ..

Sending a big vertual hug ... Chrissie

I'm so sorry to read about your son and still so young.  My son has throat cancer and has just finished radiotherapy.  HE is in so much pain and it kills me as I feel so helpless.  All I can do is encourage him to to keep fighting and the pain will ease.  he's only 34 and was fit and active.  Now he is exhausted and in pain most of the day and night.  As parents we want to protect our children whatever age they are and like Chrisssaid, wish we could wave a magic wand.  It's so heartbreaking and my thoughts are with you and your family.  Keep strong.  Maggie X

I have been following this post with such sadness Dillysmum - your young handsome son should not be dying.  And your son too Maggiecyprus.  We regulars who post here so much like to feel that we might have posted something that might help but know only too well that there is no help that can be given in these circumstances; nothing we can say will ease the terrible pain.    I have no doubt you are wrapping your sons with all the love in the world and that is all you can do.    Nobody deserves this.  Annie

Hugs to you,my mum at present is now going to refuse more chemo.she's fought cancer almost 3 yes now.this cancer is evil.stay strong,laugh with him,cry with him,try to make the most of time you've both got with each other. I'm a mum of 2&a nan,life can be so cruel at times,hugs to you Denise.xxx

My heart is breaking for you and your family.xxxx 

Thank you and everyone for replies and love. My son has been so very sick the past month. He barely talks to anyone anymore. I try to steal a hug or a quick kiss on the forehead when he allows.  He is in a lot of agony physically and emotionally and he just wants to be left alone. It is so hard not to be able to help fix or comfort him.  Everyday I wonder, is this the day, is this the last time I'll see him, hear his voice..... it is hell. And I've been told by other parents who've lost a young adult child that many of them had no warning no normal signs of imminent death. They just simply went to bed and that was it. So then everyday he doesn't want to talk I am so scared every last word will be the last word I hear. Fear runs my life these days. I dont like to eat because he cant without vomitting. I'm scared to sleep so I'm up all night. And it's hard to fond someone who truly understands unless they've gone through it. Some days I just want it to be over and then I think my goodness how could I think that way, it's just so hard watching him waste away and suffer so much.... I dont know how I'll get through this. I had to call funeral homes for pricing yesterday and out 9f bodu I looked down at myself and thought omg how are you doing this. I wish I could wake and it would all be a bad dream.....