Hi everyone, 

I've been lurking for a few days now. 
 

I have an appointment at the breast clinic on 23rd, two weeks after going to see a nurse for a lump. I'm terrified. I'm putting on a brave face and keep telling myself it's probably all fine, but as soon as I'm alone I cry. I'm 33 with a 7 year old and a 3 year old. 
 

I have almost convinced myself it's okay! Because I've been breastfeeding, both refused that breast but fiddled so it's occasionally been odd. Inverted nipple checked previously and was fine. 3 year old has just finished breastfeeding. Lump is squishy. Everything else okay. I have previously had mastitis and blocked ducts. I even sometimes believe I'm being ridiculous because it's going to be nothing and I will have wasted time worrying. 
 

but then there's the worry about what if it is something. Why is the referral so fast? Do I actually have cancer? 
 

The nurse simply said it could be nothing, but she was going for rather safe than sorry. 
 

I kept busy at work, I'm an early years teacher. But now it's half term, my daughter is isolating after a covid case at her nursery so we can't go on walks like normal and I'm just stuck at home thinking. I'm awaiting an autism diagnosis so my brain has equally processed the best and worst case scenarios for me. 

I haven't told my friends, I've cried on my husband who is practical and supportive but also positive. My mum is hopeful. 
 

I just don't know what else to do. Nobody can tell me an answer until the appointment and I don't know what else I can do to pass the time. I'm just scared.