Hi,

So sorry to read about your Dad's situation.

Is there any chance of getting the medical team at the hospital to confirm your Dad's view that he would be unable to look after himself, even with a LA care package in place? If you can get formal support for the view that it isn't in his best interest to go home then you might be able to persuade social services that he needs a residential care package (assuming that's what your Dad wants).

Have you talked to Citizen's Advice about his situation? They may be aboe to advise on how to proceed. 

Sorry I can't offer any better ideas.

Best wishes

Dave

Thank you for your reply Dave.  I have tried everything, this has been going on for months.  Social workers tell me that he is medically fit and yet he refuses to return home with a care package.  They argue that he must return home, have carers, let the care package fail and then they can move on to consider something else or until he meets criteria for a care home placement.  Not sure what the criteria is or when he will meet it as the social worker has stated its too complicated to explain.

Ironically, he worked until he was 82, volunteer driver for local link, social services and alzeimers support, fit and healthy and was required to pay for a private medical each year to prove he was fit and able to drive.

Rest assured if my Dad says he can no longer look after himself, he knows, he was always very strong and independant.  To make matters worse, he will not allow me to become involved caring for him and tells everyone, a family carer isn't paid and I am not responsible for his care whatsoever.  I would willingly attempt to help but he won't allow it.

I have full power of attorney for health and welfare and property and finance since 2010, although never needed to use it, due to Dad's indepenance and NHS staff and social workers are firm that as he is of sound mind it cannot be used.

Gets even more confusing because his former home, the local authority tell me I am the legal owner as I am a trustee for it.  The local authority obtained this information from the land registry.  Even more of a shock, my brother is a trustee as well, which came as quite a surprise to him.

It's become very messy and all that is ever discussed is eviction never health or deterioration. 

I notice that all the other patients in the small ward are dressed in their own clothes each day and sit in the bedside chair whilst Dad wears hospital pj's, no clothes because of the several weightloss and lies on the bed.  He has adapted well to the environment not interested in having anything to do with independant living. 

So very confused Dave at this time.

Hello Blackbird63, welcome to the forum and I'm sorry to hear about this very sad situation with your dad.

Adding to what Dave said, have you considered calling Macmillan? They might be able to give you some advice on how to deal with these issues your dad is facing at the moment. Their toll free number is 0808 808 00 00 and you can call them Monday to Friday, between 9 am - 8 pm.

I hope this helps, Blackbird63.

Best wishes to you and your dad,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator