This sounds both ludicrous and awful. But surely she does not need permission to go home? And once she is there surely a GP cannot refuse to visit her? I'm struggling to understand this because my wife is insisting on being at home as long as possible - Palliative Care in our Post Code is not as good as 1/2 mile away (in Nottingham City), but GP seems to be leading on a Care Plan which will include Community and MacMillan nurses. If "they" won't "allow" her home then what I assume is "continuing health care funding" will simply have to admit her to hospital.

I think you need professional advice - and a lawyer. Human Rights action beckons.

My sympathy and kind thoughts. 

Hiya,

A bad situation. I'm going to die at home. If I was in your mum's position, my family would simply have taken me home. And nobody would have stopped them.

I think hospitals and such places have a legal duty of care and do what they think is best, which will not always accord with the wishes of a patient. But their saying you can't go home is simply that, them saying it. 

There is no invisible mallet that will smite you if you choose to take your mum home. 

When I'm in hopital, I make the decision to go home, regardless of what I'm told. And I have been told on numerous occasions that I can't go home yet.

It's surprising how they soon rush to get things done, like discharge papers, once they see you on the way out.

The caveat of course, is that you must recognise that you are taking responsibilty., and accept the consequences.

I have no idea of the legalities of the situation but as you're effectively taking her home to die, I can't see there'd be any problem.

If it were me, I'd just take her home and grant her what might be her last wish and the ability to die with some dignity.

Best Regards

Taff

PS A quick search shows for example "If the individual’s need for care is a health need then there is funding available through the NHS called continuing health care.  This funding pays for the individuals care costs in full, regardless of whether they are receiving care from carers in their own home or if they are in a residential or nursing home."

Wave a Solicitor at the GP.

Hello Unhappydaughter,

Thanks for sharing your moving story. I am pleased to see that you have already had some helpful responses from our forum members.

I thought I would also share a couple of resources from our website which may be of interest to you such as our page on choosing where to die and this link to resources and support that may be available to you.

If you want to talk to someone about all this, you could perhaps contact Marie Curie here - they provide emotional support and practical advice about terminal illness including for family and friends. Macmillan Cancer Support may also be able to give you practical guidance so don't hesitate to contact them too.

I hope this helps a little.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

This is because the cancer has spread to her brain and she is now under the mental capacity act. Her plan was to die in the hospice, once she came out of the hospice because she lived longer than expected, her mind was already impaired, she didn’t expect to live past this so didn’t make any alternative legal arrangements.

she is now under the care of social services. As a safeguarding concern. 

Thank you for this,

It gives me hope, it’s weird you put yours trust in health & social Work proffessionals. But it seems that they are not giving me the clear picture with all the available options..... why is this I wonder? 

Hiya,

thank you you for this - she has full funding on the NHS continuing health care. But I was told they would never fund care at home.

i found an alternative care home for a live in care the same price as the nursing home. But they said - A) they would never fund it & B) that it wouldn’t be enough care to cover the 24 hrs a day.

I was told I would get x 4 nurses a day & nothing at night and not be able to cope.

Then I was told if mum had a seizure or fell out of bed and broke her hip, she would be sent into  hospital and never come out & it would be very distressing for her.

i said she could break her leg or have a seizure any where any time, but they still refused.

Not sure I place my trust in them as such; their every utterance is questioned in depth by my family, my advocates.

I must say though, apart from one nursing assistant, who didn't want to help with my colostomy bag, service by the NHS has been very good since my cancer diagnosis.

The social services, whichever bit I used, I think an occupational therapist, and the local housing agency, did sterling service getting my house adapted for me, with a wet room, stairlift and ramp outside.

MacMillans gave me a cheque to help with anything I needed, a reclining chair, but failed miserably by not contacting me to help with PIP forms.

My GP practise is very helpful, even the receptionists treat me nicely.

My stoma nurse is particularly helpful and acts as a go-between between me and my consultant.

And having said all that, I stand no nonsense from any of them. I'm always treated with politeness and asked before they treat  me. And my decision is final. And backed up by a wife and 6 adult children, who make sure my wishes are adhered to.

I sincerely hope you can get things sorted to your satisfaction

Taff

All I can add is a link to the official NHS wording on Continuing Health Care 

www.nhs.uk/.../

"NHS continuing healthcare can be provided in a variety of settings outside hospital, such as in your home or in a registered care home."

Sorry but no time to read it in detail.

Good Luck with everything Taff I feel much better knowing I have support with people who are going through similar things. 

Even if your not religious - I hope your angels are on hand when you need them xx