Welcome to Cancer Chat, Simdan.

I'm so sorry to hear that your mum passed away on Wednesday. On behalf of everyone here at Cancer Chat, I offer you our heartfelt condolences.

I can appreciate why you are feeling the way you do but try not to be too hard on yourself. Have you spoken to someone else about this? If you haven't, it might be a good idea to reach out the Samaritans, for example, if you feel that chatting on the phone with someone might help.

Also, I'm sending you some information we have on our website about coping with grief and I hope this will offer you some comfort.

Stay strong, Simdan, and please know that we are here for you whenever you need a chat.

Warm wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Simdan; so sorry to hear of your mum's death on Wednesday.  Please don't start blaming yourself for anything that took place.  Your mum may have been waiting for you to relax and let go; I realise it was however a shock for you.  You are obviously a caring, loving son; I hope you will be able to understand that your mum knew she was in the care of someone who would give her unconditional love and care.  Please do continue to post here about yourself, your mum and her death if  you think it would help you to do so.  Annie

Hi we all go through this why didnt we what if .you did all that you could dont let you inner critic get to you .i did everything i cauld even when i tried to find out the same as you the mc.millan nurse asked if i had been a nurse .cancer is just eivi it trys to hurt the carers ime shure there will be a number of people come on your post and tell you the same but sounds to me that you were an angel to your mum and she will have known it and what a comfort you must have been for her just as i was to my liz dont knock yourself out over it .you have my sympathys paul