Cancer Research UK main site

Understanding mum's lung cancer diagnosis. Where do u start?

Meaden
Offline

Today, I listened to my beautiful mother's Lung Cancer. Shocking conversation to have to listen to. She's 80 suffers from COPD, has a heart condition, so due to this, they recommend no treatment. 

I live and care for both my parents and work full time. I'm struggling with this news! Where do you start? We have no idea how long we have had with her. We need to talk and prepare as a family, but wherein God's name do we start?

Can a normally all-together person admit, I'm terrified, scared of what lays ahead, and emotionally crumbling inside? 

I can't focus on why no treatment can be offered, reality says she's not fit enough to accept invasive treatment or the main treatments. But do I just accept this decision? Where and what will we face as a family? My dad has dementia and struggling he's long loved partner is about to leave him, and when this may happen, life is somewhat cruel. 

How do you cope? 

  • Hi Meaden,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. Firstly I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your mother - no doubt this must be incredibly tough and a lot to deal with.

    It is absolutely OK to admit that you're scared and struggling emotionally. This is perfectly normal and admitting to this, and coming to this forum for support, is a healthy approach and one that I hope will be helpful for you. In situations like this it's not just the individual that is affected but all those around them too.

    Hopefully you have your own support network around you, such as other family and friends to speak to. Either way, we are always here for support on the forum if ever you need it. It can often be helpful simply to write things down, as well as to reach out to others who understand.

    In terms of your questions regarding treatment, I'm not sure how much information you've received, but if you still have questions or uncertainties then do try to speak to the doctor/specialist again so that you can get these questions answered and hopefully get some peace of mind with any next steps.

    There are organisations available for support for yourself if ever you need it. Some good places to start include Macmillan and Maggie's - both of whom have various resources, helplines, and much more.

    Take things slowly and take things one day or one step at a time. Look after yourself, and wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.