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M0n0
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My mother has been diagnosed with cancer and has undergone numerous courses of chemotherapy. Today she found out that her cancer has spread. 

People ask how she is and I just say 'she's fine' because she is in herself. I find it so hard to talk about it as I'd rather pretend it isn't happening. I look after her and take her places but can't handle the thought aid conversations about treatment, progress etc. 

I know it's good to talk but I don't know how to in fear that I will just break down - I'm strong for my mother as I know this isn't about me but it's so hard to act like everything is fine when in reality my mother is facing a battle that she and other patients don't deserve. 

Anyway, is this normal to block things out? 

Thank you 

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    Hi MOnO,

    I am so sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in. I am not a medic, but I think that people react differently to a diagnosis like this. Some people want to know as much as possible, whilst others just don’t want to know anything. Both reactions are perfectly normal.

    Don’t avoid talking for fear of breaking down. A good cry is a great release valve. I am sure that you will find the strength not to give way in front of your mum. Even if you do, it just shows how much you love her and how loved she is. This has to be of some consolation to her.

    Do you feel that she is trying to protect the family by refusing to talk about it, or do you feel that she genuinely just doesn’t want to know? If the latter is the case, you will have to step up to the plate and be with her to discuss treatment options and outcomes with her consultant. You will find that the hospital need your input to decide what is best for your mum.

    I do hope that you will find the strength to get involved in this. Remember that we are always here to offer support whenever you need it.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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