Hi Alan,

Your post is NOT pathetic. First of all stop with the guilt trip. Having cancer is about the most stressful thing in the World and we all try to cope in our own ways. Your smoking is just a symptom of your anxiety, amplified by a nicotine addiction. You need to get help for both these things. 

Go to see your GP or local smoking cessation service, you are far more likely to give up with help and support than without. eCigarettes are far less harmful than tobacco and might be a good interim solution to satisfy your nicotine cravings - cheaper and less smelly too. 

In case you missed it the first time around - stop with the guilt trip! FFS, you have cancer - 90% of cancer patients get anxious, the other 10% tell lies about not being anxious! You and I still have cancer within us, so we're not survivors we're people living with cancer. Apparently there are 2 million people in the UK living with cancer -  that's more than the population of Northern Ireland! All of them, at some time or other, feel anxious! Even people who get the all clear 5 years after treatment ends, quite naturally worry about it coming back. 

Find somethng to do which will distract you from the constant worry. I have always been an adrenaline junkie. Sailing in heavy winds, hang gliding, mountain climbing or scuba diving are all pastimes which for an hour or two demand your full concentration and enable you to forget about anything other than the immediate present.

I've always hated mornings too! Nothing to do with cancer, I just hate mornings, especially when there are smug "morning people" around! 

Seriously, quit the guilt tripping and accept that you have a lot of things to feel anxious about. Then do something different to distract your mind. 

Best wishes

Dave

Hello Alan,

Dave has given you some excellent advice and as Dave said, your post is definitely not pathetic. You did well to come here and reach out for help. I am sure talking to Dave and others here will help you feel better and you will soon have a plan in place to beat this anxiety and the smoking cravings that go with it.

We have some detailed information on our website on how to stop smoking which you can read here. There is a really good graph too showing the different success rates of each method. As Dave said, even though stopping smoking is hard, there are various free services and treatments available to help you quit.

Our page on fear, anxiety and panic may also be of interest to you - as it shows the effects that thinking and worrying about cancer can have and the distress it can cause. This page in particular tells you about ways of helping yourself cope with negative feelings. Do talk to your doctor too about it as they may be able to advise you on how to proceed to help you feel better.

I will now let you chat away with Dave and our lovely community!

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Dave, nice to meet you and thank you for all of your very positive advise, 

you are of course toatally right, I must break the smoking habit with the help of a support group, I have ooked and there are some here where I ive and I have already contacted them and I will go to the first meeting on monday evening.

I take on board now that we are people living with cancer, until you said that I was thinking that I would be dying of cancer like my friends. I have to relise that it is possible to live with cancer and I did not realise that there are 2 million people in the uk living with cancer, that has helped me so much. 

I should know how to cope with the poor me syndrome, as I am an alcoholic , but I have been alcohol free now for 30 years, I have in the last 5 months found that nicotine is far far worse than alcohol to stop.

Today is a new day in my life, I have taken the first step to deal with my nicotine problem albiet that so far I have smoked part of a cigarrette, I just looked at it quarter way through and threw it away.

This was before I read your post. 

I woke up at 5 am, thinking , went back to sleep, sort of half asleep and half away until about 8.15

got out of bed and just went straight to the cigarrette, then something hit me and despite feeling shaky and stressed i put it out.. the rest of the morning has been cleaning the house and walking my dogs... 

this afternoon I will go out again, and when I come back I have found some videos on u tube .. quit smoking and anti stress videos, I will listen to them ...

I read the papers on the internet, and saw that video of the dog with his dying owner in hospital,in the daily mail  I broke into tears and my two dogs came straight to me , I must have cried for a good thirty minutes, it broke my heart. I had to really try so hard to stop thinking what if that happens to me, but then I pulled out of it and said to them ill not leave you , ill be here for you .

next week I will go back to the gym 3 afternoons a week, I have not been since my operation, and I used to so  love it, ill take it easy of course for the first few months.

your post has inspired me to get rid of the poor me syndrome, and start to enjoy every day to its fullest... yes I still have people in my life that are also living with cancer , my sister in law had a hysterectomy yesterday, I just called her and she says shes doing ok, just a little pain.. 

My terminal freind Terry is now in Oxford hospital, they are trying some new treatment on him, I pray to god that it will work.

I am so glad that I joined this group, as everyone is so kind and helpfull.

I would appreciate being able to keep in contact with you

Alan

Hi Lucie

Thank you for you help , I will read everything , just reading the post from Dave and yourself has helped me so much today

Best wishes Alan

I am so glad Alan - that's what we are here for! You are doing really well. And [@davek]‍ is simply great ;)      I am so pleased you are feeling better. Walking the dogs is also a great outdoors activity.

Well done for cleaning the house too! Something I really need to do myself...

Lucie

Hi Alan,

I don't know if it's true, but someone from a drug rehabilitation service who I met when I worked for the NHS told me that kicking nicotine is actually harder than kicking heroin. 

The 2m figure may be a bit conservative. MacMillan were quoting 2.5m at a conference I attended earlier this week. Most people in the audience were similarly surprised and they were mainly health professionals, patients, cancer charity workers and politicians engaged in trying to improve cancer outcomes.

Cheers

Dave