So sorry to learn this, thank goodness for the private health care.

It really is not easy to break the news but you will find the strength and the timing in your own way.

I lost my son in 1999 he was just 5mths old, my Dad 1yr 1wk 1day later and my Brother june 2016.

i pray that the cancer has not spread, maybe let them know after you gain the next test results?

i really feel for you, i guess it depends on the age of your kids, i am 50 now and on this site as am searching for answers for my own worries and now see people like you and many others all doing the same. life is precious for sure and we just want to protect our kids, it really broke me when I was with my Dad when he had his investigations in Bupa and yes his own G.P doctor kept saying nothing wrong then wrote suspected cancer of the colan in the bupa letter, it was lung cancer xx 

I hope your kids will be ok and I am sure they will show great strength towards you so that you have one less worry, take care god bless and good luck xx  

Thank you Pam for replying so kindly. I'm so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine what that must have been like. I lost my dad many years ago to stomach cancer., i was lucky to have him at home to look after.   I'm  56 so my children are older 28, 26, and 23 and two have moved away from Scotland back down to the south for jobs.   I just wish i could tell them all together  and face to face but it will have to be a phone call or face time. i just want to hug them as i know they will be great on the phone but worry what they will be like once they put the phone down.  i am going to wait as you suggested until i have had the scans but i had a hard time not saying anything tonight vwhen my daughter rang for our thursday night chats. 

I also feel i have to do it on mass as i dont want anyone of them feeling i prioritised one before the other if i phone them separately.  

As you can tell. not sleeping yet again. I really should make these sleepless nights more productive! Thanks again. and hope you find the answers you seek. x

Awww bless you, thats hard being such a distance xxx maybe a zoom meeting with them you;d all be face to face sat in your own homes, I can imagine it must have been real hard for you, my brother kept it quiet from me until 2nd Jan almost 3mths until he knew more of what was happening.

Well for me, my nurse phoned to discuss my asthma, I just mentioned Id work up and had my 1st period for 2yrs and was very heavy she said thats not good and arranged a blood test and ultra sound, i had the blood test wednesday and the ultrasound was meant  to be 12.35pm today, but yesterday 11.30am the hospital rang said they wanted me there, 1hr later I was having my ultreasound done, after the lady said the hospital will phone you tomorrow with the results, not my G.P I replied no the hospital had reffered me to the womens clinic there I said I am due this ultrasound tomorrow, so I phoned the clinic and cancelled todays appointment they knew nothing of me being at the hospital today and they had me as a G.P referal, so I can only surmise the blood tests showed up somethingand I am swayed towards overian cancer, obviously I should be asleep and wait for the call but its natural to search for answers. 

the more I read the more I convince myself with self diagnosis. 

i really cannot fault the NHS though 48hrs and from passing banter to blood test and ultrasound done is supper quick service.

take care xx Pam

Of course it's only natural to try and find out as much as ypu can yourself when you can do nothing but wait. i was the same, its  very hard not to look but one piece of information leads to another with each fitting into your worse case scenario.   iI just knew that it was cancer as soon as i was examined by the consultant.  Bless him it was just something he said to himself and then  he had to put a code on the paperwork  and the insurance company ask if i was being treated for cancer

As you say the NHs is brillant 90% of the time after all they are only human and we all make mistakes. But I'm  really glad that its been so quick for you and fingers crossed that it's  not as bad as you think.  I know its useless to say try not to worry cause  no one could not worry. but i hope yoy get some rest and tomorrow night you get to sleep like a baby.    Don't  tink sleep will come tonight for me so I'm  going to try to  make a hot chocolate and read a book without waking hubby.   take care and will be thinking of you. let me know how things go. xx Doh

i will do and ditto xxx we need our strength rest is a great healer so they say and so is a hot chocky for the mental health, I jealous now as only have nesquick. My lads are 12 15 and 27 looks like tonight will be my night to sleep I hope you gain some too xx i will keep in touch definitely.

Hi, Sorry that you're going through this it's a living nightmare. I first went to see my Gp beginning of December, it was over a month wait for my colonoscopy, I had MRI and CT the following week and saw my Consultant. I've been waiting for surgery for 6 weeks usually it would be 2 weeks pre covid. Mine is a rectal tumour. I know what you mean about the embarrassment I kind of say a tumour down there without really saying where it is. I don't like to talk about it to anyone in real life it's like it makes it all very real, I'm fine talking about it online to strangers in forums x

Hi there, 

I have had some comments, usually they say its typically me to get the most embrassing cancer, so now i say lower colon cancer instead. Im still waiting for the scans . It seems like forever but really its only been a few days. i just want to get started on the chemo so i can feel like I'm doing something!!! rather than all the waiting around. It can sometimes be difficult not to be angry at all the delays or missed oportunity to be diagnosed due to covid restrictions but such is life. I try to feel lucky as there are so many others that are worse off, but that can be difficult too.   Please feel free to talk to me whenever, and about whatever. ive worked in health and social care so not a lot shock me. Take care of yourself and good luck. xx

Hi Pam, any news? Told my three kids today and there were very good while on screen. except youngest who even though i told him not to google it, did that while talking to me!!!  Also told all my older brothers ans sisters, so quite an evening but at least its over with. 

Has started to become more really the more i said it, so maybe its  a good thing to do. Take care D

Hi I am glad you told them as that is a weight off your shoulders, but without the new worries of how will they cope, but at least that is out of the way like you said, I can imagine how heartbreaking it is for you but the support is now in place hopefully too for you all, your kids will have friends they can turn too, and brave it up in front of you, on video call etc, it is only a few days since we spoke but it feels ages ago,  I got my results on Friday and I had sleepless nights of worry and prepared for the worst, I had convinced myself of the worst case scenario, I have good news to share, I don't have cancer but I do have cysts on my ovaries, which tomorrow I will find out how big how many and what my treatment will be if any. Thank you so much for asking. I will let you know tomorrow what my nurse says as she was not in the surgery Friday and the Doctor said she will explain all. I would still very much like to stay in touch and be listening ear for you if you would like that. Take care xx Pam

Oh Pam that is brillant news!  Its lifted my spirits to hear something positive. Dont worry about me, while it would be lovely to have someone to talk to, you don't need the extra burden of dealing with someone with cancer if you don't need to.  I would rather you put this distress behind you and did something positive to remind yourself to enjoy life. 

Its my 31st wedding anniversary in july, (i was of course a child bride!) and as we had to postpone our trip away to celebrate the big 30th , i have decided to have 31 little celebrations all connected to our life together, some are simple things like having an eighties movie night to sleeping in a tree house to remind us of the one my husband made for our kids. I was thinking that doing at least 30 would keep us busy for a couple of years and give us plenty of things to plan and look forward to.  Coming up with all the ideas and making the scrape book etc to go with it has given me something more positive to think about and taken my mind off waiting to start chemo etc. and I've managed to keep it all a secret so far, although I'm generally useless at that. Hopefully he will appreciate it come July. Take care and lots of love. D xxx