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The well-meaning "have you tried...?"

TwinTwo
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Aaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh

I only got the not so great post-treatment news today and already have "have you looked at this alternative therapy, I really believe it works" stuff from two friends.

I find it so frustrating as I don't want to lose friends over it but I am not spending whatever time I have debunking this stuff.  Equally I don't know how to turn their ideas away without debunking it, and that can take some time with people that haven't studied any science.

This is people that know me.  People that know that my knowledge of physiology, biology and chemistry is at a pretty sound level, and that my husband's knowledge of biology and chemistry is post-grad level.  Why are they putting me in this awkward position?

I'm not vulnerable, but I have seen a really vulnerable people literally lose their life to cancer over well-meaning friends talking of alternative therapy.

The silliest thing is that having laughs with friends has more of a positive effect than the stuff they're punting, if only they realised that and just settled with being friends instead of trying to cure me.

Sorry, rant over!!!!!!!!!!

  • Offline

    Hi Twin Two,

    I can totally empathise with you. This subject comes up a lot in the support group I help to run and we have all come to the conclusion that, no matter how well your family and friends know you, they will still offer ideas about alternative therapies - not because they believe them (except for some sad people) but because they feel the need to offer some hopeful suggestion because they are a friend or relative, otherwise they don't now what to say.

    We have all found that the only way to counter these suggestions is to get in there first - tell them your recent news and immediately follow up with 'I know it's difficult as a friend/relative to hear me give you this news and it's difficult for you to know how to respond. I really don't mind if you can't find the words but please don't offer me well meaning alternative therapy advice as it's not helpful. Being here for me is all I need.' Hopefully that shuts them up before they think of telling you about the next miracle cure that the drug companies and the government keep quiet about because they will lose all their revenue (another of my pet 'conspiracy theory' hates). 

    I hope that your team have a treatment plan in place for you & that it's successful. 

    Angie x 

  • Offline in reply to AngieT

    Thanks Angie, glad someone else gets it.  My family are all sensible so no worries there, just friends that can be an issue (and strangers, cause they like to pipe up for some reason!)  Good call on the getting in first thing, I shall have to try that.

    Cheers,

    LJx

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