Finding it so hard today. I can be so strong and positive most of the time but today it's tears. Writing out birthday and anniversary cards to hubby's family, signing them from one not two. It hurts.
Oh Kathy, my heart is going out to you for you are a little ahead of me in this 'journey as one'. It always seems the 'first time' you do something as 'one' is the hardest (even writing the thank you notes after the donations received in hubby's memory was one of those tearful moments). You do not need to be strong all the time (I am still learning that one!!) and the emotions will come when they need release (I do not cry easily but they fall 'at will' and sometimes at the most normal of things).
Take my virtual hand, give it a hard squeeze (it will do us both the world of good) amd I am sending big hug across the electronic miles - you are in my thoughts as we cope with our grief. Love Jules x
Hello Kathy Im sorry you are having a bad day ,you are always so chirpy and supportive ,but sadly these days will pop up and I still find it hard writing my name only on cards and letters my children find it hard not writing Mum and Dad on cards its hard doing things like shopping for one and seeing things on shelvesthat Tony liked I still have tears .and he died in Feb 2013 people tell me it will get easier but when ?Kathy you have lost the love of your life you were together for years and have so many memories its so hard I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better ,just remember how filled with love that life was and love never dies ...Huge hugs Kathy ...Sueanne Xx
Thank you Jules, I did what no doubt Brighteyes would suggest and took dog for a walk, then got stuck into the lawn mowing and finished them both. Keeping busy helps, I bustle around like a leprechaun on speed, but when you stop....... I know time for quiet reflection is needed, but the wobbles just jump out and bite you. I know we have work through the *** times to be healthy and well balanced at the end of the day. It was my choice not to go anywhere today (don't like shopping at the best of times) and catching up with friends tomorrow.. I guess I have to remember I can't be superwoman all the time. I do have a lot to be thankful for and a lot of things to look forward to albeit on my own. Tomorrow is another day, the sun will shine, the weeds will grow and my veggies will continue to do their thing, and I will smile and get on with it. Hug received and squeeze returned. Kathy xx
Sorry to hear you are having a sad day today but I have always said, Crying is just natures safety valve which enable us to release those pent up emotions that assail us from time to time, now matter how strong we may feel.
I know from losing my mother, it's sometimes simple little things that set us off. Thing like hearing one of her favorite songs or seeing her favorite flowers and there is no way we can protect ourselves from this happening, nor should we I feel for it's all a nutural part of grieving.
I really do feel for people like you and Jules who have lost a loved one who has been such a big part of your life. Take care Kathy and I am sending a big hug across the miles, Brian.
Hi Kathy .... just to say I am thinking of you as you attempt to cope with these reminders - I am sure there are generally several a day and its not surprising that you need a little 'safety valve' release some times. Your garden must be one of the tidiest in the area - and your dog the fittest - for all the times you keep yourself busy Kathy! Sending you love my friend x
Hi Sueanne, just being there honey is a help. It is reassuring to know that the down times are quite normal and will pop up now and again. My mum is coming over in March, she was widowed at the age of 59 after having nursed dad for 20 years. I am looking forward to having some good talks with her, baking her cheese scones and spoiling her to bits. My accent will take on the Scottish brogue again and I will probably have to translate for my friends as when together we tend to talk very quickly. I don't know if it gets easier as such or do we adapt at coping better? I know my wobbles are less frequent but that could be due to keeping on the go a lot. The memories will always be with me locked in my heart so I don't envisage moving from this house. We often said even if we won Lotto we wouldn't move. Never been materialistic, don't need a pool or a spa or flash accessories. The simple life is good. Better stop rambling. Thank you for your kindness. Hugs Kathy xx
Hi Brian, thank you for your response. I am picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting back on track. Tomorrow is another day. How is your supply of nuts and had any cheese straws recently? Where would we be without cheese? I hope Mrs B is well and making sure you are behaving. Kathy xx
Dearest Max, your message made me laugh... The garden was sadly neglect for some months, hence the battle to get it under control but I will get there eventually. Dog does enjoy his daily walks and his sniffs. I myself am not a great fan of walking but believe if you have a dog it's only fair to walk them and it does get me out of the house. He is a medium size and to be honest could pull me off my feet if he chose to. The only time he wouldn't get out is when it's too hot. It is nice seeing the birds in the trees and the ducks in the pond on the wetlands next door. I should have written the cards when my friend as here yesterday as can be so strong in front of others. Grandson coming for a sleepover next weekend so that is something to look forward to. Well Max almost 2 am so will need to hit the hay, lots of love to you lovely lady, Kathy xxx
