Just learned today that my beautiful, brave wife has secondary breast cancer in spine,hip and rib. Can't stop crying when I think of the wonderful retirement I had planned for me and her (although no tears in front of her, brave face). She's convinced she can fight this and live for 20 more years then I read that all that can be offered is quality of life, perhaps 2 years. No, no, no. Can anyone give me any positive stories, my hearts breaking.
Your wife may prove to be right. Predictions like this are based on averages and are only useful when applied to large numbers of people. I was given a similar estimate back in 2013, following a stage 4 diagnosis.
There is a certain amount of luck in all of this. The averages also ignore things like age, physical fitness and co-morbidities - all of which can affect outcomes.
Good luck to you both
Hi just read your post .my diagnoses was boom out blue bowel screening I had no idea I am 60 after getting a scan was told it had spread to liver shock no2 after more scans boom u have 2nd lesion in liver but not cancer so that's ok another scan nodules on lung non specific so from happily ticking along world upside down my husband like you devastated and still is he was retiring in middle of this had many plans all on hold now .we have been told a plan for me but it's long rd got have 2 ops more chemo no guarantee any of it work .but we enjoy things we do try have positive attitude most time my husband has been great support but had been hard especially tell our children.my sick pay will be non existent soon and can't get state pension for another 6 years .but I think it makes you really appreciate good things minor things don't matter I suppose what I'm saying is you adjust after you accept shock and hopefully get a plan any kind waiting is awful .my doc keep wanting to put me on sleeping pills n councilling I keep refusing.enjoy every day .try keep chin up
Awful news. I'm not a medic but know that with breast cancer, if metastases are 'only' bones (hard to use the word 'only') as opposed to bones and other organs, then the chances are better. As Dave says, it is largely a matter of luck. And that luck means that some people who have stage 4 breast cancer sometimes live a long time. And don't forget that the averages that are published in medical journals, and quoted on medical websites, are always based on statistics gathered over many years, say from 1990-2010. These averages will always be less than for someone diagnosed in 2017. Best wishes. Harry
So sorry to hear your own story tigercub. You sound like my wife who is strong and unbelievably brave. Thank you for taking the time to reply. My very best wishes for your own journey.
Hi no I'm not always strong that is side people see . private can be very different my hubby has cried loads I think it's very different set worries for partner we have talked about very difficult thing s have got finances sorted as much and was painful.this morning hubby found mole/ birthmark on my back that's changed I didn't even know it was there so something else for him worry about.but I've phoned chemo nurse for advice .can't get gp appointment for love or money these days .good luck with everything .hope you have family to support you.