Hello there.  What a horrible time you have been/are going through. 

Would you be kind enough to tell us a bit of the history of what has been happening?  How long had  your wife been ill and with which cancer - not that it matters but it gives us an idea of what you have been going through.  Do you have any family who are supporting you?  Is your wife's death very recent?  I am pleased that you have come here to vent your fury and anguish and hope you will talk to us a little more.  And we will talk to you.  If you have looked at this forum you will have seen how many people have lost their beloved partners and other family members and how they run the whole gamut of powerful emotions.  We haven't got any magic wands but the similar experiences of other people might be good for you to read about - and talk to the people in question.  Annie

Hi there ... just wanted to add my heart felt thoughts .. .so.sorry, my heart goes out to you ... So all l can do is send you a vertual hug at this time ... Chrisie x