Hi,

Somehow I have found my way back to this site again after my last post earlier in the year. Dad did 3 courses of chemo but it didn't work.

We now have him home having palliative care ....he is not expected to see the end of September.

I just feel totally numb, lost, sad, devastated, tired, ......

Some days I pray that the Lord will take him so that he is out of this pain but then I feel broken that I cannot imagine life without my Dad. I am exhausted from worrying, crying dreading what is ahead of me.

In a way, the last few weeks have allowed us to say everything we have wanted to say and I can honestly say that I shall feel that I have done everything I could have for my lovely Dad.

Im sorry if I'm rambling, but I just feel the need to get my thoughts out of my head....my head feels as if it's going to explode.

I hope that I can come back to this site one day in the future and read my words with a feeling of happiness and contentment in my life .....today I feel that  shall never ever be the person I was.

My thoughts are with you all on this horrendous journey that we all seem to be in x