Supporting my mum and grandma in grief21 Nov 2022 13:47
Tomorrow marks two years since my grandad passed away from duodenal cancer. His loss was very sudden (diagnosed four weeks before passing) and his death in November 2020 meant dealing with his illness and loss in the middle of lockdown.
He and my Grandma were married for sixty years when he passed away, and he was very present in our family life (I considered him as a father figure). Growing up, I would see him everyday and once I was older and left home, we'd still speak most days. His loss totally rocked our families world. My Nanny has become totally reliant on my Mum for her shopping, me for dealing with her bills etc. She stays with my Mum every weekend etc.
We are now at the two year mark of his passing and in many ways, it feels like it has only happened yesterday. I feel in a 'better' place with my own grief, I'm able to live around it rather than 'in it' if that makes sense? However, I am increasingly worried for how my mum and grandma are coping. I live around two and a half hours away but speak to them both daily and 9 times out of 10, the phone conversations will end in tears. My Mum has become reclusive, her life (understandably) revolves around making sure my Nan is okay - but I know she struggles with anxiety and drinking habits (these were pre-existent problems but have defo got worse).
Sorry for the rambling but just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to support them both through their grief? Or if anyone has been through anything similar with supporting a parent through grief? I feel as though I've been able to move on with my life and deal with my grief, but they are both totally compounded by their loss. Sometimes it feels as though it's never going to get better... I dread big family occaisons, even getting a new job etc. It feels as though my famiyl will never be truly happy again. I dread the day that anything happens to my Nan because I truly don't know how my mum will cope.
Any advice would be really appreciated!