Supporting my husband30 Jan 2023 22:24
Never really done this before but this is completely uncharted territory for me.
Background- my husband has an older brother and their parents are divorced. My mother in law lives alone and has no partner.
My mother in law is coming up to her 3rd year anniversary of her diagnosis for lymphatic cancer. Throughout the time that she has had the cancer she has been very selective and not always share the full truth about her condition. She has contracted many different infections and each time she has been stubbornly resistant to going to the hospital, despite the fact that she needs to. To the point she has completely refused.
Yesterday, she started to have kidney pain and once again refused to go to the hospital. It wasn't until oncology was called by my husband that she actually went as they stated she had to be seen. After hours of being at the hospital today, it looks like her cancer has grown and is now pushing on her kidneys. We will know more tomorrow for certain.
I am just looking for some advice in terms of how to best handle this from the perspective of being a partner. My husband tends to withdraw when infections or illness occurs with his mom. I always feel so upset and frustrated on his behalf when his mom refuses to go to hospital. I always end up saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing despite it only coming from a place of love and care. I just want to help my husband and support him but most of the time I am just the one for him to have a go at.