Together we will beat cancer


Support for my daughter

4 Mar 2018 21:49

Hi, I’m looking to find a support group for my 9 year old daughter.

Her dad is terminally ill with lung cancer which has spread and is incurable.

She sees her dad every couple of weeks or so as he is now living with family in London who are taking care of him.

She feels so alone with her feelings, which breaks my heart. I am looking for some groups that she could go to, so she can spend time with and talk to other children who going through a similar thing.

We are in Bournemouth, but willing to travel if anyone knows of anything 

Re: Support for my daughter

4 Mar 2018 22:32 in response to Mel1072

Hello Mel1072.  I am sorry your family is going through this. 

I am attaching a link to MacMillan Cancer Support specifically for supporting children in these circumstances.  There is support available; some of it is for teenagers but you may like to take a look at this yourself and see if you can find some useful information.  There are also book lists and other suggestions to help your daughter through this.

I am also attaching another link to Marie Curie about supporting children.  Some of it may duplicate MacMillan but there is quite a lot of information here also and I am hopeful that this will be of use.

If you want to discuss any part of this information do ask and I will try to help.  Best wishes.  Annie

Re: Support for my daughter

4 Mar 2018 22:38 in response to Mel1072

Hi there ... so sorry you find yourselfs in such a heartbraking situation ... and how lovely to have such a caring brave mum like you ... there is a site you can get her to go on ... it's called riprap and hopefully annieleese will pop by soon as she's a mine of good info on groops that help children ... 

If you go on the front page of cancer research , down the bottom are different threads you can press on and one is for you to help children who are going through this ... give it a try and see if it helps ...

I will message Annie and hopefully she'll be on tonight or tomorrow ... so you take care and know you can ask anything on here, there's always great buddies that will help you through ... and "ask the nurses" should be here tomorrow and hopefully pick your thread up too ... sending you a big vertual hug to you all ... Chrissie xx 

Re: Support for my daughter

5 Mar 2018 14:59 in response to Mel1072

Welcome to Cancer Chat Mel although I'm sorry for the reason you are posting.

I know our lovely member Annieliz has shared some resources with you which I hope you're finding useful but I just wanted to stop by and share a few more with you that I hope you will find helpful too.

On our website we have articles on how to talk to children about cancer and what support is available to children whose parents have cancer. There is a section on the maggies website just here which may prove useful as well.

I hope this helps and your daughter is able to get the support she needs at this difficult time.

Best wishes to you all, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Re: Support for my daughter

6 Mar 2018 10:31 in response to Annieliz
Hi Annieliz, Thank you for your kind words and for the information. I have seen these links and found them helpful. I really would like to be able to find some face to face groups rather than online chats. I feel that the face to face group thing would be far more beneficial for her

Re: Support for my daughter

6 Mar 2018 10:35 in response to Chriss

Hi Chris,

Thank you for the kind words. These really are tough times. I am really trying to find some face to face groups for her. She spends a lot of time on her laptop and screens in general which seem to be her escape.

I will definitely pop on and check those links out again though.

Thank you 

Re: Support for my daughter

6 Mar 2018 10:42 in response to Moderator Steph

Hi Steph,

Thank you for your kind words.

I have looked at the links and found then useful. I do feel however feel that my daughter really does need that actual time with other kids who are going through similar things and to be able to talk about it with other kids who get where a 9 year old is coming from


Re: Support for my daughter

6 Mar 2018 11:11 in response to Mel1072

Hi Mel1072.  Sorry about that.  I was hoping that some organisations might have something in your area.  MacMillan mentions the local hospice as a point for support; I think they would almost certainly know if there is a support group for children who have a parent diagnosed with cancer.   You could perhaps give the organisations a ring and enquire.  Also MacMillan Family Support might be a good place to ring and ask if they know what is available in the Bournemouth area.  And Marie Curie would possibly be another good starting point as they have a hospice network across the country; they would know where child support groups exist.  I am hopeful that you will get some results - there is certainly a need for these services.  You may have already done this but I think you will get the best information from the various groups listed on MacMillan; they may not provide these services themselves but they will surely know where they exist.  You have probably noticed the In Our Area section of MacMillan which should include any child-oriented services. 

Hoping that you manage to find something local to you.  Annie