Hey, sorry to hear about your mum. I am going through the same thing at the moment I am 21 my mum (50) was dignoised with breast cancer a few years ago. She was given the all clear two years back and everything was great. The past few months she has been unwell and suffering with sore joints and back pain. We finally found out that the cancer returned and has spread to her bones which is “uncurable”. Although I am trying my best to be strong and positive I am finding it extremely difficult to cope and find myself having “mini breakdowns” throughout the day. I know that I don’t have much time left and the thought of being in this world without my mum is not worth even thinking about. As for talking to friends I feel the same I can feel the awkwardness  when I try to speak about about how I’m feeling I know that it makes them uncomfortable because they don’t know what to say because at the end of the day nothing they can do or say will make matters any better so I feel alone because I don’t like the thought of making my friends sad and depressed As for your planned festivals and trips your mum would not want you to miss them she would want you to go you deserve to have a break and enjoy yourself and have some “me” time as times like this are very draining you shouldn’t feel selfish at all for wanting to zone out for a bit. My advice for you would be to try and stay positive and take everyday as it comes as that’s all we really can do. I know this reply isn’t probably the response you were hoping for but I hope it brings some sort of comfort to know that someone is going through the same thing and I am here to talk if ever you need too 

I’m sorry you’re in a similar situation, but it is comforting to hear you’re feeling similar to me. Thanks for the advice - yeah I think just taking each day as it comes is the best you can really do. Its so understandable to be overwhelmed and have breakdowns, I’ve had a few - when I tried to talk to my friends about it the other day I just kind of sobbed for a bit in front of them in costa!! felt so embarrassed but tbh not much you can do at that point!

I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to be having a good time with my family now but yeah i agree having ‘chill’ time might be a good way to recharge. It’s so easy to feel guilty and pressurised when there’s a kind of time limit hanging overhead - but of course with cancer you can’t ever be sure really.

if you want to talk about anything feel free to message me x