I lost my mum at the beginning of March, just three months after her diagnosis in December with lung cancer, and I feel I am really struggling with my feelings.  So much has happened within six months -mum's diagnosis, illness and passing away, my daughter was in the middle of planning her wedding which was in May, then my husband was made redundant, wrote the car off, and then I had a health scare myself. It's been a really stressful six months for all of us, and I think in some ways the other stuff going on has prevented the grieving process, so it's hitting me now.

I've been having some bereavement counselling sessions at our local hospice which is helping a bit. I'm managing somehow to go to work, but I think I'm depressed or suffering anxiety and I can't face doing anything with mum's house. Everytime I go there, even just to check everything is ok I end up breaking down in tears. It was my childhood home and I can't bear to let go of it at the moment. Someone asked me if I would donate some things to a local charity that helps set up the homeless in flats, and I will eventually but I couldn't bring myself to move anything -everything is just as it was when mum went into hospital. 

We knew when mum got her diagnosis last December that treatment was only palliative, she so much wanted to be at my daughters wedding in May, but sadly that wasn't to be.  I miss her so much and just can't believe she is really gone.