I am feeling exactly the same.  I have lobular cancer so need MRI and also bone scan and CT due to it being in 2 lymph nodes. The latter two have tipped me over the edge because I keep thinking that means it's spread.  However, my breast nurse has told me it is highly unlikely that breast cancer would spread to other parts of the body if it's only found in a couple of lymph nodes so I'm trying to hang on to that.  She also said that all ladies who have any positive lymphs are referred for CT and bone scans as a belt and braces approach.   I am also incredibly anxious and making myself ill waiting for a plan.  We just need to try to look at the facts as we know them rather than imagining the worst (easier said than done as the worst case is all I can think of!). Sending hugs xxx

Thanks so much for replying. I'm sorry you are in this situation to. It's horrendous. I've just convinced myself it's spread. My body is so tense from all the stress but any ache I'm assuming it's because it has spread.

Today is definitely the most stressed I've felt as just hoped for more positive news yesterday and think it's all hit me today! I'm so tired but can't sleep as my head is racing! I'm going to try and go for a short walk and see of it helps. 
 

I hope you get some answers soon. Hugs to you to xxx

I'm exactly the same and I think it helps to vent with someone who totally understands! I've been through every scenario in my head and, like you, am convincing myself that every ache or odd feeling I have is that.  It's difficult because the doctors can't commit as I suppose they really don't know the answers until the results. Try to focus on anything positive they said (like the comments above from the nurse).  I think we'll feel better once we just know what's what and have a clear treatment plan xxx

Yeah we just need to get these scans done and then will know what's what. It's all this waiting and not knowing that's making it so difficult to cope with. Xxx

Hi there ... 

I know how hard this early time is, and we seem to hear sad news on people with breast cancer on the t v ...  but I remember feeling the same as both of you early on ... the future looked bleak ..

But I came on here and found about 5 others ... all different stages and treatments... we started chatting and holding each other up ... well that was over 4 years ago ... wer all still here ... one lass went on to have 2 more babies after her treatment ...

I had a grade 3 oestrogen positive her two neg lump ... and complete right masectomy... I'm still doing well .. like the other lasses ... my untie and nephew and friends daughter all had breast cancer sinse ... they are all still here too ... so hold on in there .. get yourself a vertual pair of pink vertual boxing gloves.. and try not to do the what ifs ... don't look at the whole picture... live in the day and take each day and each problem as and when it comes up... 

It's not a picnic in the park... but it is doable ... let your self have bad down days ... we all get them .. but next day dust yourself off and get back on the cancer rollercoaster... highs and lows .. but hold on tight .. there's lots of us right there with you ... sending you both a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Thanks so much for your reply and it's lovely to hear you are doing well and the others. I need to try and be more positive and pick myself up, but the days just seem so long and my mind drifts. I'm letting it beat me at the minute. I just need to get this wait out of the way, then hopefully they can start the treatment. I have so much admiration for how positive people are on here, wish I could be more like that. 
Thanks xx

You will be ... honest ... once you know everything it somehow gives you a plan and it's easier then the unknown ... that's the scariest ... hang on in there ... we were all as scared as you at the start ... keep as busy as poss ... you'll always find a hand to hold on here ... xx

Thank you so much for your support xxx

Hey.  
 

I hope you are feeling brighter.  I had my diagnosis on Thursday and have been on autopilot I think, maybe a brave positive face for everybody else? Today I have just crashed.  It literally takes my breath away and I have done nothing but cry all afternoon.  I am really struggling.  I have a CT scan booked for 1st November and I am terrified.

i really hope that it isn't always like this, feeling doomed.  Sending love xx

Hiya,

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this nightmare to! It's just the most horrific feeling in the world! I've had moments where it just takes my breath away to and I just think such dark things.
I've had my CT scan but no results yet. The waiting for results and not knowing what I'm fully dealing with is like torture.

I've 2 young children and decided that this weekend it  was about spending quality time with them and just blocking it out as much as I possibly could. I've spent time with other family members to and kept myself busy which has helped. 
Have you got lots of support around you? I have rang Macmillan twice when it all got too much and they were really good. Just try to distract yourself as much as you can until your appointment (I know that's easier said than done). 
I will be here for you xxx