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Struggling to cope with losing dad!

13 Feb 2020 16:55

Hi there, need to get off my chest. Mum and dad split up a long time ago and then my dad went to teach in thailand for 16 years and coming back every summer, it was a tough decision for him and us ( 3 sons) , but we was alot healthy for it ,

Anyway he turned 70 and was fed up and wanted to see his sons and grandchildren as he was missing out, and he was getting sick more regular in thailand, eventually we got him home for the new year(January 2019 ) and he surprised us all, it was the best feeling ever , getting him home and catching up on lost time and doing dad and sons stuff. From the January he was really I'll alot and lost about 6 stone and was going for blood test and scans and blood were fine, but he couldn't walk anywhere,  his legs were brittle. July 3rd he fell in the bath and broke his leg( female bone) it was horrible to witness it but after thr ambulance came I thought,  great he will be ok in few weeks, 

In the hospital he had a funny turn and the doctors rushed in and were very concerned,  then we got the worst news anyone can get. He told us I've just seen your dads scan and he has is riddled with cancer in liver, lungs and bones and he wont leave the hospital,  he has months maybe weeks. 

5 weeks later the doctors told us his body is shutting down and you need to say your goodbyes,  my dad couldn't speak as he had a throat infection but was trying to tell us something,  he eventually went into a coma and we all watched him take his last breath and his heart stopped forever,. It was the most traumatic experience I've ever witnessed and constantly think about it. 

Worst thing is I've told him enough that I loved him and when he passed over i told him i love u dad, 

I just cant cope,  i wish i knew he was ok now and in heaven



Struggling to cope with losing dad!

14 Feb 2020 07:33 in response to Andyc192

Hi so sorry about your dad when a loved one dies we all wish we could have a bit more time its i shame you missed out with your dad not being in uk ive been divorces and lost my partner it absolutly sucks .theres a post on here from sarhapine 8 about sighns after loss you may find it a comfort or not depending on how you think ime not one bit religious but i dont think our ecence or soul whatever you want to call it dosnt die only our bodys wear out but all that energy that realy is us dosnt die this is what scientists say not me so that energy has got to be still there .ill leave you with that thought i think we will see our loved ones again but not just yet . theres more going on in this world that we will ever understand or are ment to dont reproach yourself about seeing your dad so much it was great he came home so you got to tell him you loved him .when my liz was at the end she was pointing and trying to say something the thing was she had a massive stroke and her left side was paralised but now ive just realised talking to you it was the left arm she was pointing with they say people see things when they are dieing what that is who knows . So maybe what was your dad is still around we cant see energy but we know its there .but now its for you to get better because i think grief is a form of illness .but you will cope eventualy we all think we will not but we do so just take it one day at a time and griev for your poor dad not how its portrayed on the meadia or how othere say we should how you want griefs a  lonely road but you do get to end eventually ive been on that road many times so ive had experiance and its horrible and dosnt get eisier  once again ime so sorry .paul

Struggling to cope with losing dad!

14 Feb 2020 18:33 in response to Andyc192

Andy, I just wanted to say I am sorry about your dad. I just lost both my parents in the last year and a half, my mom just one month ago. And I feel just like you: I think I could survive this if I knew she was OK and in heaven. I am so glad you had some time with him.

@Paulus -- your posts have been a great help to me the last month I have lurked this sub-forum. Thank you. If you could recommend further reading on the idea of the energy that makes a human them/their personality and how that can't be destroyed, I am very interested in learning more about it.