Welcome to Cancer Chat, Nicole123.

I'm so sorry to hear about your fiancé, what an incredibly difficult situation this must be for you but I'm glad you came to us, as talking to those who can understand does help.

I hope some of our friendly members will come along shortly to offer you support and advice. Until I suggest you try to speak to someone else about your feelings. Maybe a professional that could help you deal with your grief? One suggestion I have is that you might want to consider giving the Samaritans a ring when you're feeling low.

Also, I'm including here some information from our website about coping with grief that might help, if you find a moment to read it.

Just know that you're not alone and there's always someone here to listen.

Best wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi there Nicole ... well hunny, your not alone ... there's so many on here that can understand those feelings and feeling alone ... 

Life probably feels meaningless right now, and you know what he would say, looking down at you now .. would he want you to give up ... or would he say, miss me but let me go ... he'll always watch over you .. you just can't see him ... when I've lost those so so close to me, l just thought get through today ... l can do today ... and l tried to live my life how they'd have wanted me too .. my mum always helped others, family, friends and strangers she'd meet ... so she taught me a lesson ... to reach out ... 

There are so many that will walk this path, you are walking now ... there will be times later, when you listen to someone tell you how much they are hurting, and you can put an arm round their shoulder and say , I remember that pain ... and you can be that one person that understands ...

I look at life like a book, there's a beginning, and an end... but oh those chapters in between are down to you ... every chapter holds someone that can change your life, and teach you a lesson in loving, or even those like his family, who you can put down to the lesson of who really matters ... and if they don't,  that's their loss ... they don't count ... but the lesson from them, is look for the kind ones that do care, that do love you ... reach out, like you've done here ... 

I'm not saying things will be o.k tomorrow,  but living one day at a time, there will be one tomorrow that will make you look back and say ... I made it ... and another chapter in your book of life will start ... but right now, just look after your heart .. know those feelings are because you had someone very special in your life .. some arnt meant to stay forever, just touch your heart for awhile, and leave you the gift of the good memories and be one of your chapters that you will treasure and take with you always ... 

Let it out hunny ... this grieving is your heart and head, needing to do this ... but get a balance ... do that, then think what he would want you to do, and do it for him, so he can look down and say, that's my girl .. and be proud of what he sees ... always here if you need a chat ... you can do this ... just take baby steps .. like when a baby is just learning to walk by themselves .. till one day they can take steps without holding on ...  and you do have someone who cares ... l care .... big hug ... Chrissie

My dad passed away on Easter Sunday, he was diagnosed with Mesothelioma in February of this year, he was my rock, I am in total shock and denial,it’s just all too much to take in,to see him deteriorate so fast was heartbreaking, I am thinking of seeing him at the funeral home, can anyone tell me what to expect, thank you 

Thats how Ifeel also..My husbands family have disowned me, Its like they think I didnt do enough and they could have done better..I need to talk to someone but nobody wants to hear x

Hay there Gillian.. . Welcome to our little chat room ...

Cancer can split families ... And things said can never be taken back ...  if you were the one there and coping all the time, and they just visited ,  they will not know just how hard it is 24/7 ... you know what you did, and how you cared, and what you felt .. it is one of the hardest things we do in life, is care for someone on that last path ... let it go over your head ... they are just feeling their own grief ... but it's their loss not talking to you ... I'm sure your husband will look down, and be proud of you ... 

You can talk to us... you can tell me, I'm listening ... I care ... if you want to private message me, if it's easier click on my picture, and press friend request ... or if you just want to write on here, where others can help too, whichever you want ... but your not alone ... take care Chrissie xx

I was there when my fiancé passed, it was the worst thing I’ve have witnessed and I wouldn’t like to do it again, after he went the nurses came in and made me more comfortable and I went and saw him after I gave him a kiss and said goodbye it was heartbreaking but I’m glad I did but he didn’t feel like my Marcus he felt almost like a wax Work and that was about half hour later, so if you go and see your dad just be prepared that he might not look like your dad I don’t want that to be your last image of him as mine is of Marcus xx

Hi 

Just wondered how Nicole 123 is doing now? Hope she's OK. any ideas?

I lost my husband to cancer last month Nicole. I am considerably older than you but I feel your pain. Darling, you do have your whole life in front of you. Dont give up. He wouldnt want you to. Try and join clubs or classes of interest to try and get yourself busy. If you want to talk please use me. I too am struggling with my loss and miss my husband so very much xxx

Really hope she's OK, is anyone in touch with her?

Hope you're OK Nicole

Dom

I too would love to hear how Nicole is now as I note her partners death was last year.