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Struggling now it's over

Pol187
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I feel a flu even typing this. I had a grade 3 tumour in my breast. Underwent chemo x6 and radiotherapy x20. My life was a treatment rollercoaster for 8 months. Now it's over. I've had my first mammogram one year on. It's all fine. How lucky am I? So why is it finally catching up with me now. I was a machine through treatment. Driving myself forwards. Refusing to get poorly. Now I'm struggling. Stressed out. Feel drawn back the hospital. Never thought I'd want to go back! I walked through Christies recently. Just to be there. I don't understand what's going on with me. Anyone else felt this way??? X 

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    Hi Pol,

    What your feeling isn't that unusual, I've heard several other people say the same.

    I'm sure there are labels which can be attached such as survivors guilt or PTSD, if it starts to disrupt your daily life maybe you should talk to your GP and ask whether Christies have any associated services which would be appropriate. Other countries automatically refer cancer patients onto mental health support services as they recognise the mental trauma that we go through.

    Good luck

    Dave

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    Hi Pol What you are feeling is not unusual. I remember when my treatment finished had my last scan and told I was in remission it's like stepping of a conveyer belt. First time I went back for my 3 monthly checkup it was like walking into somewhere safe. Now nearly 2 years since then the feeling has diminished but not gone completely. Accept that you have been through a lot and this is still part of the healing process.
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    Hi

    Yes i feel exactly the same.

    I am just recovering from mastectomy. Right breast removed in March and left in July.Had implant reconstruction each time.

    All of a sudden i feel a sense of panic.What if it comes back.I am paranoid about any change in my body.Tonight i have gone to bed and had a cry.

    You think its over but it never really is.Even now i still have nipple reconstruction in December.It just feels like a waiting game.

    But we need to be strong and carry on xx

     

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