Hang in there mate, we all feel like that from time to time but imagine the trauma it would cause them if someone else had to tell them that you'd topped yourself.
Kids are far more resilient than most people give them credit for. If you don't tell them soon, how do you think they will feel if you eventually take a turn for the worse and they never had chance to support you or even say goodbye? Telling my sons was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and they are in their twenties so I can only imagine how difficult it must feel with kids aged 12 and 15.
Please give the nurses a ring in the morning - at the very least you will have discussed your problems with someone. Call the freephone helpline 0808 800 4040.
Dave has given you some very good advice so please do ring our nurses as he suggested - they are there this morning from 9am so pick up the phone at any time and feel free to ask them anything or talk about whatever is on your mind.
You did well to join this forum and we are also here for you - you will meet others here who are exactly in the same situation, who have also had to have this difficult conversation with their children so you will feel less alone here. We also have some advice on talking to children which I hope will be useful to you.
There is also another helpline called Samaritans you can call 24hrs a day whenever you are feeling down. You can find out more about them here
I know others on this forum will be along shortly to talk to you, but I just wanted you to know that we are all here for you.
If you don't mind me asking, what cancer were you diagnosed with?
I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. From a childs point of view with a parent with cancer, you must tell them. Of course it will be upsetting for them, but they will want to support you through this. You must not give up the fight and your childrens support will only make you stronger.
My mum was diagnosed only last week with lung cancer, as you can imagine the past week has been hell for me and my family. But I find comfort in the fact that we are not alone, there are (unfortunately) lots of other people going through the same thing emotions as us.
