So, despite being told on 21st September my husband had only weeks to live here we still are on this awful journey with no end in sight. Another reason why I don't think Doctors should play God. Angry.........!
I'm sorry to hear you are angry with the way things are progressing with your husband and I just wanted to reach out to say do stop by anytime you need to vent, there is always someone here to listen.
I'm in full agreement with you but is there no way you can let your anger go? It must be very stressful for you and could end up damaging your own health.
I wish you the best for whatever time you have left with your husband and after.
Hello Taff, My husband and I are both angry with the
system so I don't believe I am affecting him that way, but because the so called weeks have dragged on and on I now feel stressed at having to pop to the local shop for ten minutes incase he collapses or something. When i first.got told weeks it was easier then to spend.24/7 at home but now i am feeling it because its been almost three months.
I think Taff was worried about the impact of the stress on your health, rather than your husband's. 3 months is a long time for anyone to be delivering 24/7 care on their own, I don't know how you do it.
Caring's hard, especially 24 hour caring. I see it with my wife, physical and mental/emotional exhaustion. And it's not as if a few words on a website is going to be much help, the most we can do is empathise/sympathise.
I'm sorry that you and your husband are in such a stressful situation. When my own husband was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2015 we chose not to ask how long he might have. From previous experience we know that doctors aren't Gods ( for example his best friend was told he had 6 months after being diagnosed and lived for almost 7 years) Instead we chose to make the very best of every minute. Of couse we were angry - but with the situition not at the doctors. I was his full time carer and I know how hard that can be. We had our one and only row during his illness (and we'd been together almost 40 years)
Perhaps you could arrange for one of your husbands friends to pop round and spend time with him so you can have a bit of a break? Or perhaps you have grown up children who would give you a break and alow you to hAve a few hours respite. Our local hospice had help available. Perhaps your GP might be able to put you in touch with help locally so you can get a break to enable you to carry on.
Thank you Dave we only aim to send for help as and when needed. My husband wants to die at home. When the time comes that i can no longer manage him to get him washed showered etc then we shall have to get them in but until then our time is precious and i do not want any of it stolen by unnecessary intrusion.
Hello Netty, My husband was originally told he has a year or less but then they did a full body scan and after i was told it was so extensive we were looking at weeks. Now the problem I have is that my husband never wanted to hear another word about his prognosis bur according to the GP and Hospice they have a Legal and Moral obligation (more like covering their backs) to inform patients of their time left. We have written to the GP to express my husband's wish but I'm so I worried someone will just tell him. I know he would be more than worried he is already scared at the thought of dying next year . We are 43 miles from my daughter and do not know one solitary person who could help. I shall soldier on regardless. Given this past week I do not think he will see Christmas.
they seriously say they have a legal and moral obligation? Im surprised youve been told that. That's dire. Surely their obligation is to care for the patients mental as well as physical well being and if the patients family feel it's best not to talk about how much time is left then the medical profession should respect that. After all. Who knows the patient best and understands what their wishes would be?
I hope you are bother copine as well as your can. Not an easy time I know.
