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Step mother with cancer

17 Oct 2020 21:59


I am a young girl struggling with my step mother being diagnosed with cancer. The outcome is not looking great. I have recently moved out of the family home and go for visits when I can. In results to this I struggle deeply with seeing her and after visiting I cry for many hours after. 

I am in need of help on how to make this easier, why I always want to cry when seeing her and how to cope with this. It sounds so selfish as it makes me not want to visit cause I am then so upset and don't want her to see me like this but at the same time I want to be there for her. I have struggled with abandonment issues and I feel this could be a part of it, not wanting her to leave me. 

Sorry, I genuinely looking for some support as I feel I have know one I can open up to about this. Would be great to find out if others feel like this to and how they deal with it. 

Step mother with cancer

18 Oct 2020 07:02 in response to 19sophie99

Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... your so young and the word cancer is so scary ... but it has come a long way .. there are many of us who have been on this cancer journey... and lots still standing ... 

I know this is really hard but if you stop and think , no one healthy or with cancer is promised tomorrow..  anyone can loose and fall ... my mum died suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter... gone in the blink of an eye... 

You can still hold your step mum's hand .. can still make memories.. it's o.k to share tears ... or admit your both scared .. everyone pretending to be strong, helps no one .. you all need to be gently honest .. if you can take each visit as a bonus .. live in the day .. ask her what she'd still like to do or go ... look through albums... watch a favorite film ...  doesn't have to be big ..

The only regrets we have in life are what we don't do .. we will all go one day .. it's just the way things are .. sinse my cancer diagnoses,  thats what I do ... make the most of each day ...find something to smile about each day ... sending you a vertual hug... you can do this... Chrissie x