Hi Carol and girls. Oh dear sometimes as I know it all catches up with you with this bloody awful cancer. I really feel for Norman and yourself Carol. I’ve got dreadful backache everyday and no energy sometimes. I try to potter some days but have to give in and sit with my back into my chair and feet up and painkillers. I want to do more in the garden and get out and about more but I can’t. I want me back. It gets you down. We ve just had awful news in the family. My cousin, who is more like a sister to me has just lost her husband. He had Leukaemia some years ago and got through, it came back in his throat and jaw and he got through some years ago then it came back few weeks ago and he died in the hospice Sunday aged just 66. They had been married 38 years and she is in bits. Cruel this cancer. On a lighter note my little great grandsons make my day. Charlie who is 1 and a half trying to copy his mum doing the salsa so very serious too and Henry who is almost 2 sitting in his high chair putting squares of cheese and melon on top of his head and nodding to shake them off and eat them much to the amusement of his sister Emily who is shouting encouragement. He really plays to the crowd with a wicked little grin on his face. These are on video so if I’m low I put them on and have a giggle. Cathy my middle daughter who lost her hubby two years ago is having stomach troubles . Been to Dr who thinks it’s down to stress as she moved house after Tony died and the little shop she works part time in is closing so more change there. She is to have an ultra sound scan but nothing until 30 th Sept as it’s not considered urgent. Seems there is always something to worry about. Julie hope Dave is home and getting stronger now. Sue hope you are well and that the weather is not too cold now. Lots of love and hugs to you all . Gloria xxx
Hi girls, not a good start to the day as I have woken up with a swollen lip, it looks like some one has punched me. Mary picks me up and says my face is swollen, it's the blasted tooth again so an emergency appointment and back on antibiotics. Until they find me an extraction appointment this is going to re occur. Your story about the grandchildren made me smile Gloria, you're so right the little ones take life as it comes, my little granddaughter makes me smile she is so like her Mummy, my eldest daughter it's like de ja Vue when certain mannerisms of hers like sticking her head up in the air and pretending not to hear you, or pulling a face if she hates the outfit chosen for her. I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, its so young, to us anyway, to die at that age. Norman obviously feels like you do Gloria, tired and worn out, he's not bothered about going anywhere, hopefully this weekend we may go for a drive and some lunch, we need a break. I've popped to M & S for a steak pie, I'm dosed up on tablets and it's simple to do. A full day tomorrow with no plans. Take care all of you, love Carol x
Dear Gloria, Carol and Sue
So sorry that some of you are going through rough patches at the moment and I hope things start looking up soon. Cancer is the most horrible thing that wrings you out and takes over your life. It really takes over your life and even when you think it has gone away it turns on someone you love instead. Hope that makes sense...not expressing myself too well there.
I do have good news though and I hope me sharing it helps and doesn't make you feel worse. We went for feedback on Dave's op today and it was the best news we could have hoped for. Margins and lymph nodes were clear, chemo had done it's job and reduced the tumour, which was in the bile duct and not the pancreas. Nothing has spread and the very small tumour has gone. We are so happy as you can imagine, but cautiously so, knowing what this journey can be like. He will probably still have a final course of chemo but it may be tablets which will be much easier. He may also be anaemic (after the bleed) and require more blood/iron tablets, so not quite out of the woods yet but the view looks a whole lot better!
I'm thinking about you all and wishing you the best. I will keep you posted as to how things go. Fingers crossed we have our life back for a little while longer at least.
Dear Julie, I am so thrilled for you both, fantastic news and onwards and upwards. I know you still have a long way to go but it bouya you up as you can see an end to it all. That's my problem, I know our end isn't going to be OK. I did smile this morning though the weather is wet and miserable and Norman sighed and said, a bit like myself then. I feel better today as the antibiotics are kicking in, just had a custard tart as it's soft. We're staying home today neither of us feel up to anything. So please, please keep in touch, your struggle has been worth it and you can see light at the end of the tunnel, I know you've both been through it over the years but it gives you strength and you realise what really matters, love and family. Love to you all. Carol x
Hi Julie. Oh how wonderful, good news for a change. After going through such awful times what a relief for you both. Sounds really positive. As you say this cancer thing is horrific and so frightening. Great that Dave can have tablet form of chemo too. I think he should have less side effects. Carol hope you lip is feeling a bit less uncomfortable by now. Julie hoping you are ok. I had a bad night dreaming of my Dennis . Woke up crying. Think it’s because of my cousins hubby Steve dying. Brings it all back. Thirteen years and I still miss him so much. Anyway one cheerful bit of news . The weather is supposed to be really warm for the next few days. Might get in the garden. Always helps me. My love to all of you lovely girls. So glad Carol got us together. Gloria xxx
Carol, Sorry to hear neither of you are in a good place. Try not to think of what your life would be without cancer. It doesn't help, try and focus on making the best of the situation you find yourselves in. I get it's so disappointing not to be having the life you'd both hoped for. But you both still have the opportunity to enjoy life, your family. Do things you enjoy, together if you have common interests. Go for a meal somewhere nice. Get him out of the house, it might stop him thinking all the time about how miserable he feels. There isn’t an easy solution. And I realise cancer and it’s treatments are very tiring. Just my opinion, it didn’t work with Neil, the only things he was interested in, was going fishing and driving the truck. He did at least get to drive a truck one last time and it cheered him up immensely.
Sorry about your tooth. Can’t they just make an appointment to take it out in about a week after the antibiotics have done their job.
Gloria, so sorry to hear about your cousin’s husband, too young. Your grandson doing the salsa would be so cute. Grandchildren are wonderful. I get so much pleasure from mine, Eli especially as I see him so often. Hopefully the stomach troubles your middle daughter is having will be caused by stress. Not that that makes the symptoms any less worrying/bothersome. Hoping she will find another job so her stress will ease a little.
Julie, It’s wonderful to hear some good news, so happy for your both. You are one step closer to hearing Dave is cancer free. Keep everything crossed Julie, but it does sound like Dave4 is well on the way to kicking cancer’s butt.
I have been busy. I went to Rotary Tuesday night and I’ve been at Deana’s a lot this week and going back tonight. I was there Tuesday night as she was starting work early on Wednesday (she had to swap her shift) to be able to go to buying appointments (stock for next winter’s clothes) appointments Thursday. So was there also Wednesday night and now tonight so she can go to the flower market tomorrow morning. Have done cooking today as my freezer was getting very low. Did a big pot of chicken and vegetable soup, and also a zucchini and spinach slice, which is wonderful with a salad. I have also finished the shawl/wrap I was making. It turned out well, I’m happy with it. I’ve been looking at patterns for something else to make.
Take care, love to all. Sue xx
Dear Sue, thanks for the encouragement and I know you're right but some days are worse than others and this week has been one of them. The weather has picked up and Norman has managed to get out and see friends again. He's also cleaned the car out and sorted his golf clubs out but last night he looked exhausted and tired. It's sounds like you are busy as usual which is good. Women seem to cope better than men, we're more sociable and always find things to do. I've been gardening as it's too hot to just sit. You finished your shawl quickly, I'm knitting a little bear a blanket for Ella and it's just sat looking at me!! Bank Holiday weekend so we're going to Saltburn for a ride out and some lunch tomorrow. Have a good weekend and speak soon. Love, Carol x
Carol, You will have good days and bad days, but hopefully there will be more good than bad. The weather does have a part to play also, and of course if it's what he prefers that will influence his mood and the way he feels a little. Like you I think we cope better, we are more social and can always find something to do. I should have been doing some more weeding, as we've still had lots of rain although the temps have been more favourable, so the weed would be easier to get out. The shawl was crocheted so it worked up quickly, which is good as I don't get bored doing it. I've now started on a little blanket for a pram. It was yarn I had here in a lovely mint green, so suitable for Deana's next when they decide to have the next. Salt burn sounds wonderful, (I did google it), the Cliff Tramway looks lovely, the view from the top would be amazing. I love piers so a walk to the end would be great. Neil would have loved the Captain Cook & Staithes Heritage Centre. Sounds like there is lots to doo and see there. There is also a lovely bookshop. I hope you have a lovely day.
Gloria, I think there will always be things that remind us of our hubbies, a death especially. No wonder you woke up crying. I hope you have times though where you think of him or are reminded of him and smile. I do on occasions now although still have times where I have tears.
Tomorrow I'm off to Geelong to do some shopping, things I can't get here. Shouldn't bee too bad weatherwise, a few showers but only light and if I'm lucky maybe even a bit of sunshine. Today I made a pot of celery soup, which I've never made before, but it is really good. I had almost of whole bunch of it leftover, from the pot of soup I made a couple of days ago, and I really hate throwing out so much. It annoys me when I can't buy just a few stalks and have to buy a bunch.
Have a great weekend, love to all. Sue xx
Dear Gloria, its sad how we dream dreams that are so real. When I went to Lisa's the other week Norman was in a right state when I took his cup of tea in. Apparently he'd dreamt he'd played golf in Leyburn with a footballer, lost his walking stick, couldn't find his car and when he tried to phone me the phone box was out of order, so I missed my train!! Do you think he was worried about me going?!! He was in a right state because he said it was all so real. Faye has just sent photos of a festival down there, brilliant she said apart from Paul Young, who should have hung his hat up and stayed at home! Ella was a painted butterfly and had braids in her hair, Alfie was carrying a friend on his back, I miss those happy days when mine were little. I'm glad we've all met as well, a lovely group of strong ladies who show the world what we're made of!! Love Carol x
Hi girls, we've had a busy few days. Out and about in the sun, eating and drinking. We didn't make Saltburn as too far and too hot so did Leyburn and our fav pub in Bolton. I've been To Northallerton today with Jean for lunch and a shop, found a pretty dress with cats on for Ella and saw my friend Linda as she works in Barkers, she's been poorly so having a look in her bladder, she's scared but it's an easy procedure as I've had it done so I'll go with her. Everyone is falling apart, I've been bitten again and I'm still on antibiotics. A big thunder storm now its cleared the air. So hope all well. Love Carol x
Hi girls, hubby not so good today, a cough and his wheeze is permanent now. I couldn't get to sleep last night as it was so hot so by 12.30 I was downstairs playing candy crush saga, drinking milk and looking at my fairly lights in the dark, I crawled back to bed at 2am then had horrible dreams where I'd mislaid time and no one could understand me when I complained!! Still I obviously didn't look too bad as the lady who follows me in our dance class came over to tell me I looked fabulous, what a lovely thing to say it put a spring in my step. Popped to TK Maxx and bought new trainers a jumper, some serum for my hair as its so fly away and actually found some more of my China to eat off, oh and a new lipstick, I don't know about you but I get fed up using the same one, this has a stain in it and having tried it on my hand it works as it won't budge!! Sue, youre like me, even if no one needs it you still make things. When Lisa was having Harry we didn't know what sex the baby was so I made a whole layette in pale lemon, even a blanket it looked so lovely on him. Lisa sent a new holiday photo of him, a right cool dude with bleached blonde hair and Mummy's sun glasses on, he's going to be a heart breaker. Saltburn is lovely Sue the lift up and. Down the hill is run by water and very clever. I used to take the children there in the summer and we surfed and walked and played there even if it was not too warm. So hopefully you are all well, take care, love Carol x
Hi everybody, a busy but nice couple of days. Hubby says he's feeling better and more energetic and thinks the Wellman tablets are helping so he's staying on them, he does look better and has more colour and has managed to get out in the fresh air. Maggie and I went to Yarm for coffee and cake, it's very windy here so I drove to hers and said I hoped she wasn't putting the soft top down!! Half the village was without electricity as they are building a new housing estate, everyone was stood in the streets seeing what was going on. We had a gentle walk around and I bought a beautiful chain necklace, Lisa was going to get me one but I liked this one so think I will ask for gin glasses instead! Sat with feet up now and settled for the night, hope you're all OK. Love Carol x
Well our feeling better lasted 3 days, he's now got chronic indigestion and chemo brain! He got home at 7pm so I fed him, told him his new car was in but was being sent for the adaptation, couldn't be taxed until 9th September and he could go and see it, no point he says, I'll wait until its ready. So this morning he asks, do you want to go and see the car? You said you wanted to wait, I've changed my mind, can I have it soon, no I told you everything last night, a blank look, tell me again I've forgotten he says!! Now is it me or do men generally filter out everything we say? I'm sick of having conversations then being told I'd never said it in the first place. We're back home now, he's struggling again, annoying me and is reading stories out the newspapers that I'm obviously not interested in. Tea was going to be a stir fry but with galloping indigestion that's gone out the window. Hopefully you're all OK, speak soon. Love Carol x
Today I have a thumping headache, self inflicted as I drank champagne all night in Debbie's garden, celebrating her birthday! Maureen came over as well and we reminisced about her husband Trevor who tragically died aged 43 a few years ago. She's off to Portugal today with her daughter and son in law and a very dear friend who has just been diagnosed with ovarian, bowel and peritoneum cancer and starts chemo when they return.. It wasn't very warm but we all huddled up on the outside furniture pretending it was still summer although autumn begins today, Norman managed as well to be involved as he didn't have too far to walk, just across our front lawn! I think a quiet day is on the menu and a beef stir fry for tea. Might give my Sunday glass of wine a miss today and give my liver time to recuperate. Sue, where are you, six days since you wrote, I'm worried you're not well, or are you still in Geelong shopping! Hubby has an awful hacking cough which is not doing my head much good, talk about selfish, only joking as he seems to have a permanent cold these days, we see the oncologist this month for an X Ray of the tumour, here's praying its stayed dormant. Love to all of you, Carol x
A cold, wet miserable day to match hubby's mood. Fortunately Sarah was here so we just worked together and left him alone. It got so cold I put boots and a cardigan on and debated whether to put the fire on! He's been on his static bike as his mobility is getting worse, he's really not walking any more, just stumbling around. Sue, I hope you are well, please let me know as we normally correspond regularly. Just had a beef stir fry but apparently the meat was too tough, mine was fine though, another meal off the menu, its our first proper meal since Friday, we've lived on scrumptious ham and tomatoes in breadbuns, fruit and buttered crumpets. So take care all, love Carol x