Stay Strong

It's 12.30 dinner time and I am literally on the edge of tears, which is not like me.  I have been awake in the night again,  cough, cough, cough. The alarm goes off at seven am. It's  cold,  wet and miserable and we set off in all the heavy morning traffic, I don't normally feel car sick but today I do.  We arrive at James Cook and I threaten him not to move whilst I get a wheelchair.   I have a book handy and I will not hesitate to use it around his head if he does.  Another two hours sitting in a waiting room hell of legless people and we are back out into the rain,  wheel chair returned and I'm soaking wet.  We get home and he's trod on his toe again, so I run up and down stairs to get plasters,  the new ones get stuck to my thumbs and after three a attempts I revert to the old ones, everything is so difficult.   I feel sorry for myself as my plan was to have a day at the Metro center with Mary, but his comfort comes first.  I've missed zumba again and feel unfit and neglected.  The Mc Millan nurse hasn't rung me back so I'm annoyed  at the lack of communication.   I am going to sit and slob out on the sofa and watch rubbish TV and hope that tomorrow is a better day!

A large glass of red wine has helped! I'm now a warm dry slob☺

As do all of ours!!  He's just told me they've cocked it up again, stuck pie in oven and locked myself in the front room

It's 10.30 pm and after steak and ale pie, a large glass of wine and a vodka and coke  (drink, not drugs!)  I feel a lot more chilled out.  Tomorrow is another day, I know I have to live it and I need to get my happy equilibrium back on track. See you tomorrow. 

I know it's not tomorrow but so much has happened today I seem to have lived forty eight hours in twelve.  I go to get more plasters and a card for Ella and go to buy new bedding which is in the sale so a bonus.  Collect peanuts for birds and new razors because apparently the ones I'd bought wouldn't cut a fly in half, oh well another plan scuppered. I drag everything back to the multi storey car park and the lift is out of order so I have to walk up three flights of stairs, I reach the top and the lift doors open and out walks a guy, I thought they were out of order I say, oh yeah I've been cleaning them and forgot to remove the sign.  If the razors were lose I may well have been tempted to use them!  Back home our neighbour has come in to show us his new car, hubby is all bonhomie,  me not so much!,  when he leaves hubby asks for a kiss,  no sorry, or you were right, I tell him he doesn't deserve one and go and peg washing out.  NOT had any dinner again and off to surgery for 1.30 pm.   I'll tell you how that went tomorrow. X

We seem to be having better nights but the patching up of his wounds gets longer.  He tells me he is like a parcel,  I say I'm going to send him by Amazon but they will send him back as he is badly packaged!   I go into town for some retail therapy and some fresh air.  He drops me off and I try the sale in M & S.  It's a nightmare of people scrabbling for tatty clothes and queues a mile long,  so I leave and walk to the coffee shop for some lunch.   In there I am surrounded by people shouting into mobile phones so my plan to read the newspaper and chill out is spoilt.  Someone sits so close to my chair the lady owner comes and shifts my table further down which was very nice of her but I have to move my coat,  bag and shopping to not leave it stranded.   I'm not really enjoying myself and just want to go home!!  Back home we have ham and egg pie and a home made beef curry for tea to get some protein into him.  Four cans of Guinness are purchased but at five pounds fifty it's a lot more expensive than spinach.  Staying warm for the rest of the day.  

He's coughing again and as I have earache and a sore throat myself, it's killing my head.  I look pale and he looks even worse!  How I have managed to stay well over the past year is a miracle, I think it's  bloody mindedness as if anything happened to me,as he says we would be in dire straits.  We attend the surgery again, not happy with hole in his groin, Doctor comes in and says he needs a sugar test.   Well that should come out fine after eight sugared cups of f tea a day, no water drunk unless I tell him, he should at least be responsible for himself in some ways!  Our daughter face times as it is Ella's fifth birthday,  he coughs all the way through it and I have to stand back as far as I can because it is now a hacking  sound.  Ella apparently thought she would get as many presents as she did at Xmas, and is slightly disappointed that there are not as many,  and she's only five. I am now sat munching an iced doughnut along with two paracetamol for my head.  Early tea, feet up and Corrie, I'm glad not to be seeing anyone! !!+