This radiotherapy is kicking in in the last week of treatment. Hubby has a nasty cough, pulled stomach muscles and a sore throat. He can now have paracetamol but it is so long since he had any that they get stuck in his oesophagus and slowly melt causing terrible indigestion. Our daughter comes home on Saturday and I have been bragging about how well he looks, a miracle is needed in the next twenty four hours! I pick my friend up and we go shopping to Teesside Park,have lunch a good catch up and an invite to her hubby's 70th. When did we all become so old? I call in at M & S for something special for tea, spot the gorgeous red roses and buy her some, but I haven't done anything she says surprised, you have been there for me I tell her and your support has been unwavering. Thank you God for good friends.xx
My daughter calls from the car Friday night, the traffic is atrocious and they finally arrive in Wakefield at 10.30 pm, Harry has been a star and I have been on tenterhooks all night. Hubby is struggling with acid reflux and I am worried he will not be well enough to enjoy the company. Up early Saturday and they arrive by 10.00 am. Hubby is not in a good place and niggles about everything to me whilst trying to be happy. All our plans go out the windows so we go out without him again. We have a boisterous six year old boy to entertain! ! Indoor play park, miniature golf where my daughter and I fall about laughing at Daddy trying SO HARD to win and making a complete mess of it, men are so competitive. Off to trampoline and rope swing indoor play, where we adjourn to the bar and have a catchup on Dad's health. Back home for tea, arguments over vegetables, Grandma siding with Harry as he is only little, black looks from daughter! well isn't that what Grandma is for, rule breaking. Harry is left with me as Mummy and daddy are booked into Redworth for their anniversary. Bedtime story, an Aliens eaten my teacher. Hugs and kisses and then feet up and new Scandinavian noir series. All is well, apart from the Cancer hanging over us like a black cloud. See you tomorrow. Xx
It's 7.30 am and a little knock on my bedroom door, Grandma is it past zero zero seven o'clock? Daddy says not to disturb you til then, he scrambles into bed with me and plonks his pyjama covered legs over mine and his blonde head under my nose, I do so hope Mummy managed to get rid of the nits from last week!! He plays a game called Swampy on his I pad whilst I doze, but he's a little chatter box and has to explain all the levels of play to me. I give up and make a cup of tea for Grandad, he seems a little better today. Sister in law arrives, the anniversary couple arrive, not happy with hotel, the crowd in last night seemed a little, dare we Say it, common!! Turns out it's sister in law's Company thst were there that night with a free bar, slight embarrassing pause from son in law!, Off to Sunday lunch, lots of vodka for me, hubby insists as he feels I deserve a drink, not going to disagree, even have Panacotta with raspberries and vodka, don't want to mix my drinks!, Harry and Daddy set off for Surrey, we drive home, cup of tea,newspapers and more wine for daughter and me, love these girls of mine, they are such fun. Family arrive safely, we have an early night and hubby seems a little better. Three more sessions to go.
Well there are just the three of us now, daughter keeps giving Daddy lots of hugs and listens avidly to his tales of people he is meeting whilst having the treatment. There is one person he has taken an instant dislike to, he keeps telling all and sundry about his private parts and in front of women, hubby is old school, ladies are to be respected! I have been hearing these stories for weeks so I escape and read the paper. We leave him for his treatment and we go shopping, our favourite Mother daughter hobby. Lunch in M & S, Mum's treat, off to find boots for her, find them straight away, wow we both say, that was easy, yep too easy they only have two right feet! We hang around whilst they seek the two left boots to no avail, give up, will order on line she says. We call in the food hall and buy Indian food for two, hubby having soup as still suffering indigestion badly. Feet up, food wine and the Corrie wedding, we will miss her dearly when she goes tomorrow.
Today is a BIG DAY!! No more treatment or appointments until the end of October, what will we do without the daily intrusion of chemo and radiotherapy. I have arranged to have lunch with a friend and a cinema visit to watch Victoria and Abdul. The movie was lovely, nothing complicated which is great as my mind can't seem to cope with convuluted stories at the moment. Home in time for hubby to return and put the flags out that for this year at least we have a few months to ourselves. We must stay upbeat and assume the best, so we will try not to think too much until our next appointment. So friends I am signing off as there will be little to report until we know which road we will be going down in the future. I have enjoyed writing these posts, they have helped me cope and clear my head. It has been good to look back and see how far we have come since March and I hope and pray that you are all staying strong the best that you can. Love to you all, Carol
Thank you for your lovely daily posts. I have been with you on your journey since I joined in July and wish you and your husband a restful and enjoyable time without the hospital appointments and hope that you enjoy the time filling it with lovely things. We are still in the grip of chemo hell but only one more cycle for my husband and then THE scan. Fingers crossed for all of us. Love to you and yours.
Love Chris. Xx
Hi Chris, thank you for your support. I have done my best to stay on track for as normal a life as possible throughout the last few months. I hope you get through this and that the scan is good news. We don't know where we are at until another scan is done, treatable but no cure is a heavy burden to carry. I will keep checking in so please let me know how it goes. Love Carol
Hi Caz. Hope you don't mind me joining in your posts. I noticed you mention Teesside Park so assume you are from that area. We ( my wife June and I live in Ingleby). Have followed your posts for a few days as my wife has just been told they could not get all her cancer with the op she had so is starting radiotherapy in mid October. Just to give you a quick breakdown of our situation. My wife had cancer 4 years ago had op and we were told all good took away lymph glands as well. She has a bit of swelling in the legs but not too bad. So all ok then early this year she started getting a bit of bother but didn't make a fuss then in February I was having some bother eating and eventually I realised I had lost too much weight although some of that I had put down to my going to the gym and doing hi intensity exercise although I am 70. Anyway booked doctor got straight in and 2 days later had endoscopy. Ended up having 3 but nothing found so sent scans etc to the hospital had another endoscopy 4th one and laporoscopy to put camera to see outside of stomach. Early April got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer in the stomach lining and in the lymphs so no surgery and terminal. I said no to prognosis as my daughter had come with me as my wife is 80 and I did not want her to hear what doc said. So put on chemo and weight then was 9 stone 6 pounds. After first dose was able to eat much better and after 3 had put 4 lbs on. My doctor says that as I had been going to the gym for 4 years I was coping with the chemo better than most and now just had the 7th dose I am 11 stone 6 pounds. I have 1 more session on 5th October then he says rest from chemo depending on scan results for at least 3 months. During the first 2 months my wife kept quiet about herself because of me and so eventually we got her to the docs and as I said she now needs radiotherapy. So all in all our house this year has been a cancer theatre one way or the other but we have managed to keep our spirits high by joking as much as we can. Our son said do we get discount from chem and radiotherapy clinics lol. One fortnight we had 8 appointments between us and the day of my wife's operation I had my 6 th chemo session. So 9am I took wife for her op. 1 pm my daughter dropped me off for chemo went upstairs in James Cook to see if wife had had operation (had not). I finished chemo went up and was allowed to see her for 5 minutes. She then went down for op I went home and because it was now 5 pm they kept wife in till the next day so daughter and I went to collect her to bring her home. Even the docs and nurses were chatting about the fact re both in the same hospital for cancer treatment but we also had a. Laugh about the coming and goings with the pair of us. I am hoping the radiotherapy is not too bad for her and please I would rather not be told anything if you don't mind. I have managed to carry on working full time and getting to the gym although less active than before but I genuinely think I might not be here now if I had not been going to gym as doctor said my cancer had probably been growing for 3 to 4 years. I am always trying to be positive about our situation and we have just raised over £3000 for cancer research by doing a sponsored row in our gym. We rowed the equivalent of the length of the Tees and back 274000 meters in total in teams on the rowing machines. I did 3000 metres myself and felt great afterwards. All then people who turned up at the gym were fantastic and cheered me as I did the last 500 metres .. it's called CrossFit Teesside no it's like a community and everyone asks about my wife and me so this is a help as well
sorry this has dragged on but as I am sure you know it does help to talk to someone outside friends and family sometimes
be stong Caz and I hope things get better for you all
Hi Eddie, yes we live in County Durham. You have certainly had your share of treatment. It helped me to write a daily blog but treatment finished Wednesday so I felt there would be little to report. I can't believe how many posts I Actually wrote! Take care of you and your family and good luck for the future.
Well we have tried to stay strong but some days I just want to scream at the world we are having to live in, cancer world!! The last three months since the end of 20 sessions of radiotherapy have not been fun. Chest infections, sore ,throat , reflux, the list goes on and on top of that sores on his leg due to the prosthetic leg pushing on thin skin. We have no idea what the situation is with regard to the cancer as no scan has been booked and we don't see the Oncologist until the end of January. This is like living in la la land, so I have decided to go back to my daily blog as it helps me to vent my feelings and not get angry with others. So I hope you will welcome me back with open arms, a Merry Christmas to you all, which I'm sure will be difficult for a lot of us.Caz.xx
Hi Caz, so sorry that you have been having such a full on time with everything but it is lovely that you are posting again. I am sure I am not the only person following your posts and wishing you and your husband well. We have been having a horrible time since we last spoke, my husbands cancer has spread and he is no longer having treatment. We now play the waiting game while trying to enjoy what will be his last Christmas. Trying to stay strong in front of the little ones is without doubt the hardest thing we have ever had to do. Hope your Christmas is peaceful and full of love. Chris. Xx
It's nice to be back but for all the wrong reasons! Hubby is suffering with his leg due to muscle and Weight loss but he is the bravest man I have ever met. Funny story in a black humour way, family yesterday for lunch plus six year old Harry, who had lots of robot presents and a drone from Grandma and Grandad!!- He stayed with us while Mummy and Daddy went back to the George at Piercebridge . Took some settling after a hectic day so 10pm before he went down, I stagger up at 11pm, I'm woken by banging and clanging from the stair lift, hop out of bed and remonstrated with hubby over the noise he was making, you've guessed it, it wasn't working. He had to crawl up on all fours to bed!! We suddenly realised this morning that all the remote controls had totally put it out of synch. Oh for the good old days of clementines and chocolates! ! We are back up and running, (well not literally running). We do so wish this is not our last Christmas together. Roll on January when we hope for better news. Love to you all. Caz
Chris it's so nice to hear from you, I have thought about you over the past three months and I am sad to hear your news. It's so hard to be strong in front of family when your heart is torn in two.. We know that ours is terminal, just not sure how long we have. The statistics for over seventy year old cancer victims is not good and that weighs heavily on my mind. As for hubby he doesn't know the statistics so he lives in hope. To do otherwise would bring him Down. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.xx
My daughter, grandson and hubby and I go to my sister in law for lunch and to see the new puppy, Luna, a ten week old labradoodLe, she has us in stitches running around on legs that have a mind of their own. It's nice to laugh and see hubby enjoying himself. My stepmother is also there and has just been diagnosed with cancer so I leave them chatting about chemo and scans, I have had enough of this talk and escape to the front room to play labyrinth with Harry. Lots of good food and wine, hubby is driving and insists I drink, I won't argue with that!! Back home, pack a picnic to take back to the hotel for them, a movie and off to bed ready for the next lot to arrive. We will be eight tomorrow so I need to rest, ready for the onslaught!! See you tomorrow.
It's chaos feeding eight people and I seem to have been tied to the cooker for hours! The first three have gone to the space rocket display, the other three are struggling to get here due to snow. Nothing seems straightforward anymore!! Everyone finally sits down but the little ones are so excited to see each other it turns into a screaming with delight match. Hubby is struggling and although he loves them he needs some peace and as usual he is getting angsty with me, which makes me snap back as I am fed up with him being nice to all and sundry but me. Finally three go back to the hotel, they are off to Scotland tomorrow so I'll not see them for ages. It makes me sad as I usually get to see them regularly but cancer controls my life and I feel guilty for wishing it over when I know he's not going to get better. It's black moods which take over and I'm sure everyone feels the same in their darkest moments. We are off to see SNOW WHITE panto tomorrow and the children get to see the new puppy, they are very excited! !