Welcome to Cancer Chat MrsD although I'm sorry about your dad's diagnosis.

Unfortunately no-one here can say how long you may have left with your dad, but his medical team can so if your dad gives you his permission, you will be able to speak to them privately and find out.

I've had a look through the forum and found that [@Snouts]‍ mum and [@stacey23]‍'s mother in law were both given this diagnosis last year so fingers crossed they will pop by when they can to offer their support and advice.

Our cancer nurses are just a phone call away if you'd like to talk things through with them as well. They'll be available again from tomorrow onwards between 9a.m - 5p.m on 0808 800 4040.

Best wishes to your dad for the 10th MrsD, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi 

I’m really sorry to hear about your dad, it’s not an easy ride I will be honest with you, my mum passed away in May just under a year she got diagnosed, everyone is different my mum got told weeks or months but it was days, I’m not saying that will be the case for your dad, I’m here if you need a chat about anything you want to know x

Hi, 

Thank you for replying after being tagged, firstly can I say I'm very sorry for your loss.

Can I ask what stage she was at? 

My Dad is being super positive and dont know if it's to protect me or it's not sunk in yet. He thinks this is a cancer he can live with, I'm not going to change that mindset but struggling to be positive behind closed doors. 

Hes doesnt even look ill. 

I want to know so much but not sure where to start. The plan is 3 rounds of chemo and then re-scanning etc. 

Did your mom respond well to the chemo? 

Hi Steph

Sorry I'm just feeling a little lost I know noone can truly give me the answers. 

He wont let me go to any appts so I dont think he'll let me speak to his consultant. 

Thank you for the number, tagging the people and best wishes. 

Thank you, 

she had stage 4 small cell lung cancer, when first diagnosed it was in her left lung and spots on liver and lymph nodes but she had other health problems so could only have chemo no radiotherapy, she had one round of chemo and after those sessions ended it’s was like she never had it, then last Christmas we noticed she was tired and had no energy and after scans etc it came back then couple weeks later  she went to hospital with high temperature and was always sleeping etc she ended up with Neutropenic sepsis and had to have some blood transfusions so they couldn’t do another round of chemo as there was a risk. Sorry if this is too much for you to take in please tell me.

you dad sounds like my mum she didn’t want any fuss and wanted things to be normal, sounds like your dad is protecting you from this, have you sat and spoke to him how your feeling? x

He was diagnosed Christmas Eve since then they found it moved to his other lung also so its moving fast!

I think you may have answered this but I want to make sure from her diagnosis to her passing it was under a year? Dont worry it's not upsetting me I know it sounds stupid but if I'm prepared for the worse case I'll feel in control somehow as right now I dont at all. 

I have tried bringing up the conversation but he shifts conversation onto something else and I don't want to push him. We only lost my nan (his mom) in November and it was her bday 27th Dec. I think he thinks the family has been through enough, funny thing about it is I'd do exactly what hes doing (very alike) which is why I knew he wasnt telling me everything. 

I dont believe in googling these things but came across this site!!

It isnt too much it's what I need so thank you, I have lost a friend to cancer in 2018 so I do know some of the terms she also had neutropenic sepsis. I think that's where this has thrown me she was terminal but she didnt hide it and faced it head on, truly beautiful human being and that's why I coped I think as it was all out in the open we could enjoy every second. But its not with my Dad and I just want to be there every second as I'm not ready to lose him but if I did I want to recall those good times. Some of the best times with my friend was when she was really ill!

Sorry I'm babbling just trying to explain my state of mind x

Hi,

I’m still less than a week in from my Mums stage 4 diagnosis.Still processing but things look a little clearer. I have found that talking with friends, helps. Don’t bottle it up as it makes you worse. 

Mum has fought BC twice before but it’s secondary now. I’m gonna text and hugs and try to speak every day. Doctors can’t put a timescale on it so we need to get by week by week.

Waiting for Mum to tell me what she wants to do before the Immunotherapy results and starting chemotherapy. Hoping she gives the family a bucket list and I can make some of it happen.

Horrible situation to be in, but we have to be stronger for the tough times ahead.

Happy to chat

Roger

This type of cancer does spread fast which was shocking to me, she passed away 7th May and last year she was diagnosed May 9th so I say under a year as it was only a couple days off, But my mum was a stubborn lady and hated hospitals so put things off before hand.

he is definitely protecting you by the way your explaining it and doesn’t want you to worry, I know that hard not to do when my mum got diagnosed I googled asked people’s things just to get my head around it all,

I’m sorry to hear about your friend she sounds amazing, no need to apologise it’s best to ask as much as you can.

my mum is always the one who worries about other people so didn’t want any fuss and would get angry if we kept asking if she’s ok etc but in the end we had a family meeting to discuss our feelings along with our Macmillan nurse who was so lovely and helpful and gave so much information she ended up telling us she’s not doing ok, I know your dad doesnt want to discuss it but maybe keep trying and he will come round to it x

I'm reaching out to you because my dad has terminal stage 4 lunch cancer, spread both lungs and LN.

He was diagnosed in June 2019 whilst I just found out I was pregnant with my 2nd son.

Its been a hellish road, ups and downs but while I was pregnant I made the most of being able to do special things with him. So went on Maternity early and baby came 2 1/2 weeks early the next day my dad was taken bad, he's home but he did refuse chemo due to the lack of his general other issues heart related and copd and imm therapy he wasn't suited to.

sorry to ramble but he's been really up and down .... we have no idea how long he has now ....

I've done everything I can to show him how much I love him , I wrote him a letter to explain how I feel. I've visited after a long day even for 1/2 just to stroke his head and tell him I love him.

ive brought him treats and even started speaking with our brother again to make him pleased.

tomorrow I'm taking him for a drive in the car .... he won't get out but he will see the world again...

he's on oxygen and so much meds now....

he doesn't really go out ....

the decline happened in November radpidly.

sorry I'm trying to think of all this while feeding my new born ....

happy to talk please reply , I do need people to talk to as you can imagine having a new born and a father who could pass away now within weeks or a month or so I'm feeling so very sad inside and low.

Hi Roger, 

Thank you for posting and sorry you and your mom are going through this too!

I think you're right I just need to do one week at a time and hopefully he'll let us help him make these the best days of his life!

I've only told a couple of people especially with the time of year, everyone asks how was your Christmas and new year but of a conversation stopper!

I'm glad I've found this site!!

I'm trying not to bottle up but I'm generally the go to person with my friends and family.