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Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

13 Sep 2020 23:29

My Mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She has a 4cm tumor in her left lung which has  spread to her lymph nodes and lung fluid. We have an oncology appointment next week and she is taking steroids and anti sickness tablets to help her eat. She has lost 3 stone and this is what initially caused her to get a blood test which eventually got to the lung cancer diagnosis. 

I feel distraught, all over the place. I am better when I am with her and when I am not I am crying all the time. Trying to give her the very best days she can and she is better since being able to eat. I think I would feel better if I knew roughly how long she had. Does anyone think that oncology will tell us an approximate time frame?


Thank you to anyone who replies.

Faye x

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 16:17 in response to Faye777

Hi Faye


i have just come across your post while googling something else and thought I would reply.


i lost my dad to lung cancer last year. He had a similar initial diagnosis, tumor on one side and in lymph nodes and fluid. Don't google it-the results are dire. My dad had 2 years post diagnosis. There are so many treatments for lung cancer now and they are evolving all the time. For dad when something stopped working they found something else that did and so it went on until there wasn't anything else to try. His initial diagnosis was months but he had 2 years and 11 months of that was on one treatment.


i feel for you so much-the shock at diagnosis it the most away I thing but it will turn into a determination to get the best treatment for your mum. Be her advocate, get her into the best local cancer centre you can. The first thing they did with dad was a procedure to drain the fluid and talc together the lining which meant it could lent return, then they moved on to chemo.


sending you much love and positive thoughts. I truly understand your pain, there's nothing like it, you feel like someone has ripped your insides out x

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 18:16 in response to Faye777

Dear Faye, my favourite name as its my daughter's as well.  Her Dad was diagnosed April 2017, stage 4, incurable and 7cm tumour and lymph nodes, a 7% success rate was given. But we're now September 2020 and he's on immunotherapy every 21 days, so it's difficult to say how long she has you need to just take each day as you can and see how it goes.  My best wishes for you and your family, love Carol x 

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 18:30 in response to Faye777

Hi Faye, 


Sorry to read your post.  My Mum, 82, was diagnosed yesterday - she is also Stage 4 though believes she is Stage 3. Do I tell her?  Not sure, thinking maybe I should just encourage her to phone the nurses and ask some more questions.


They are not offering any treatment for her, saying she could not tolerate it and would diminsh her quality of life.  I was wondering/hoping  really - does anyone have experience of any therapy which might help her breathing?


I did Google, though wish I had not.  But with no treatment on offer i am just looking for best quality of life.  All help gratefully received.


PS I posted on your post, not to hijack you, but to make sure we can find each other.  I hope that's OK xxx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 21:26 in response to stella900

Thank you Stella, this is great to hear and does give me some hope and so much positivity, thank you for taking the time to write this to me. 


What was his quality of life like during his treatment? My sister has 2 very young children and my Dad is almost 80 so I will be the main person caring for her I think. 


It is starting to sink in a bit but I am still very up and down. Trying to look after myself, eating well and exercising so I can be in a good place to face all the things that will be coming. 


Sending love back and thank you again xxx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 21:29 in response to Dor06

Seems like you and my Mum have something in common then! Happy


Seeing this does give me more hope than I had because of all these new therapies. We have an oncology appointment this Thursday and we will find out if she is eligible for treatment and if so what that treatment may be, I am hoping there are some options for her but will update on here once we have seen them. 


Thank you for sharing xx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 21:31 in response to Nat611

I am sorry to hear your news too :( 


I keep trying not to google but I can't help it, I feel like I need to be prepared. Yes perhaps asking more questions - are you attending any appointments with her? I went with my Mum and asked the questions so we were both informed.


Sending love and positivity xx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 21:49 in response to Faye777

I keep a daily blog on here so I'll add you to my list.  Carol x 

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

15 Sep 2020 22:30 in response to Faye777

His quality of life was ok. He was extremely fit and healthy pre diagnosis (a non smoker as well) and his health served him

well I think. Physically he was never on his knees if that makes sense but psychologically he found it very hard. The consultant said people with lung cancer never tend to suffer much physical pain and he never did to be fair-even towards the end. the appointments and chemo appointments can be time consuming. It becomes a way of life though and you adapt

tp the routine x

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 07:52 in response to Faye777

Hi my mum has just been diagnosed with stage 4 lng cancer in her left lung which has spread to her chest and top of her tummy 

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 09:52 in response to Dor06

Thank you xx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 11:16 in response to Nat611

hi im sorry about your mum my mum too has been diagnosed with stage 4 andme too havenot told her the stage would not help her it would not do her good.,  my mum, is awaiting a meet with oncologist but she is not very fit im hoping thjey offer her xx how is your mum doing why do they no offer her any treatment xx breathing is hard to see try zappain regularly apparently it works as good as oromorph and can help the breathing if taken regularly just getting my mum, to take it but she worries she will get addicted bless her but she is trying it and she says it makes the pain a little better so she is going with it at the mo xx

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 11:47 in response to home123

Since Mum has been on the steroids she is perking up as she cant eat which means more energy, but very frail as she lost so much weight. We are seeing Oncology tomorrow to find out what treatment she can have if any. The worrying part is the malignant pleural effusion which has shown cancer cells in her lung fluid. I guess tomorrow we will have some more information. 


We just have to take each day as it comes which is hard as humans do like to predictability x

Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 12:06 in response to home123

Thank you xx


i did not tell her and we've agreed she's actually no sicker today than before she knew. So we're taking one day at a time and booking time in together xx


why is this community so much easier than talking to my family?



Stage 4 lung cancer Diagnosis for my Mum

16 Sep 2020 12:07 in response to Faye777

Thanks Faye same to you xxx