Hi Alfies-nanny,

Firstly welcome to Cancer Chat, and I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your partner. I'm sure this must feel incredibly tough and I hope you're getting on OK. It sounds like you're still waiting to find out more information about what to potentially expect. Hopefully you have an idea of when you may expect to receive this, such as an upcoming appointment. If not then do try to find an opportunity to talk things through with the relevant doctor/specialist. Once you have this information then you may be better placed to make the necessary decisions relating to your work and other things.

Meanwhile, hopefully you'll receive further replies here soon. We are always here for support on the forum if ever you need it - it can be helpful to write things down and reach out to others.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner and my thoughts are with you. My situation is very similar to yours. My 81 year old husband has suffered advanced colon cancer for well over 2 years now and has been palliative care only ever since, he was assessed as too frail for any treatment at all. Last November we were advised it had spread to his liver. He didn't, and still doesn't, want to know the prognosis but I needed to know so asked the oncologist when I was alone with him.

He's rejected every offer of carers or hospice care so I'm caring for him on my own at home. He has now lived past the prognosis and is definitely failing, I'm told we're down to weeks. I don't know the age of your partner but bear in mind the age of my husband. Until a couple of months ago I could easily have left him alone for reasonable amounts of time but as I'm in my 70s and retired plus covid restrictions I've been here with him everyday. This might not apply to you but I would have loved to have still been working for at least some of the time, the new "norm" of caring for my much loved husband 24/7 has me mentally and physically exhausted, the normality of working would have been a blessing for me.

I hope things go well for you both, it's a journey none of us would wish to be on.

Hi Ben, we have had the Chat with Oncologist already & were told they cannot Operate.

This Chemo is 'life limiting'?

What i want to know is will it spread from Liver?

Also is there any info as to how long life expectancy is?

My Partner doesn't want to ask but i would stop working if he didn't have long...............

Many thanks for this post. Well done you for being strong too.

My 1st Husband also had Cancer, so i know all about it!

We do need to look after ourselves.

All the best to you.

I have Grandkids here atm but would like to chat more later..........X

Understandably, you have a lot of questions playing on your mind Alfies-nanny. I wonder, if you have your partner's permission maybe you can talk things through with his cancer doctor in private so you can get a better idea of what may happen. 

You're also welcome to have a chat with our cancer nurses about this on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They're very well informed and will do all they can to help.

I really hope you're able to get the information you need so you can make the decisions that are right for you and your partner at this time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thankyou for the reply, i will see what i can do.

Meanwhile my Daughter has just been dianosed breast cancer so

i am all over the place atm. 

Hi Alfies-nanny,

I'm sorry if I appeared to abandon the chat but my husband passed away yesterday morning. I'm sitting here now knowing I should go to bed but my brain is like scrambled egg. I'll happily chat with you especially if I can give you any support though I'm loathe to talk about prognosis as every case and person is different unless it would really help you to know what it was in our case in which case ask away.

What I can tell you which I hope will help is that the only pain medication Peter needed was 2 paracetamol for a cracking headache yesterday morning at 5.30am. Since the initial diagnosis of colon cancer way back in 2019, then the scan discovery of the spread to his liver, he was completely pain-free and believe me he was never good with pain. The end of life care meds with morphine etc. have been in the house for a couple of weeks and remain totally unopened. I don't know how unusual that is but nothing that I've read or heard led me to believe it was possible so I hope it helps you to know that it is.

I'll be back in touch if you would like me to be and am here for you anytime. Take care. x

Hi Jane, 

I just saw your post about Peter and wanted to offer my sincerest condolences for your loss.

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through at the moment but I just wanted to let you know we're here for you and our thoughts are with you at this time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator