Hi , I'm new to this page and also going out of my mind with worry . 
For the last 10 years off and on I've had a little blood in my poo , I was using supposetries which would stop it for a while . When I turned 50 ( 4 years ago ) I did my first fit test which was negative , then another one in October last year also negative .

Recently I decided to get checked as blood in stool and slightly looser poo ( thought that might have been menopause gut ) Nurse did FBC and Bloods to check liver and kidneys all fine , also did another fit test which wasn't fine . Was referred for a colonoscopy . Had colonoscopy last Wednesday and they said I have a suspicious lesion just inside the rectum , they took 12 biopsy's and said I will need to have an MRI and ultra sound and surgery regardless if it malignant or benign . 
rectal nurse phoned me the next day to say results are taking 2 weeks to come back , I asked if they thought it was cancer and she said they wouldn't know until results are back . They did say it has been there for a long time and is cracked . 

So I have now gone from a happy healthy person , nothing else wrong with me , to an absolute wreck . Can't sleep , don't want to eat and I'm so scared it's going to be advanced . Myself and my husband are both carers for our disabled daughter and I have 2 other children at home too , I'm so scared I'm not going to be around to watch them all grow , all because I didn't do something about it years ago I would have thought I'd have more symptoms but having read online , you don't need to have any symptoms . I know you shouldn't google but I'm constantly doing it .