O bless you its dam hard i would go back to undertakers and tell em you want some money back take someone with you as support eh just plod on at your pace you will get there dosnt help with the grief either hope you get it sorted and so sorry about your mum your to young to loose your  mum .best wishs to you and your lovely sisters and familie nice your all supporting oneanthere how it should be but a lot dont .p

Hello, your post really touched me and I can only imagine how you are feeling. How incredible you are doing organising all of this so be proud of yourself and keep going. My dad always says to us 'we go on' and you must too for your sisters and for your mum. 

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about the funeral directors - I know how angry I would feel and I would want to go down there and scream at them but I would also say forget about the money, this I know is easier said than done but i'm sure it was the celebration of your mums life that she deserved and it won't be healthy for you to keep thinking about this. Funerals are so so expensive but I think there is a bereavement grant you may be able to claim.

I also wouldn't rush things, your mind is probably in overdrive and going at a million miles an hour and I wouldnt want you to make any decisions with the house that you would in the future regret. I am living at home with my Dad and I know how you are feeling - since mum died my home is not my home anymore and the only way I can describe it is that its very cold now and its like there is a grey filter on everything. I want to get out of there as soon as I can but I know that that process is going to be difficult so please try not to make any decisions whilst you are feeling so vulnerable.

What you said about your mum at the end really hit me, I understand completely. My mum, like yours was the best thing in my life. She knew everything about me and understood me more than I even know myself, I look back on our messages all the time and would give anything to see her again - write it all down, write to her - I am a big believer in heaven and I know that she is watching over me and I will see her again - as will you see yours, and she will say how amazingly strong and well you are handling this so make her proud. 

I am here if you ever need to talk. 

Thank you Paul, that's really kind of you... I feel like my pace is going really quickly at the moment and I'm worried what will happen when I slow down!

Hi dont worry you will be fine its a realy hard lonely road but having good support realy makes it eisier and one morning you will wake up and notice the  sun shines one day at a time .p

Hi Alicelou, I remember you :) I commented on your post about losing your Mum at 24 because we’re the same age and everything you said just made so much sense to me. 

You are right about the funeral directors and I cannot be bothered to waste any more energy on being angry with them. I hope they enjoy taking money from 3 grieving daughters and we have told enough people to know that they will boycott using them in the future! 

I completely understand what you mean about wanting to get things sorted as soon as possible… When we were going through my Mum’s work laptop yesterday trying to find various documents, we found a document she wrote that was addressed to us and it just said “breathe, don’t rush things” and it was so special, I used to go to her for advice all the time and I’ve spent the last 10 days trying to do everything under the sun as quick as possible, so I am taking her (and your) advice and slowing things right down.

Do you talk to your Mum? I didn’t think I was a believer in anything, but I feel her with me all the time, when I was younger, she told me not to be afraid of “ghosts” because they were there to protect me, and now I know she was right. Our Mums will always be with us.  

Thank you so much for taking the time to message me, I feel worst at night but I’ve just logged on and seen your message and it’s just nice to know someone is out there, even though that’s because you’ve also gone through the worst thing in the world, and I am so sorry that you’ve lost your amazing Mum too, but I think she must be so proud that you’ve come on here and taken the time to share your wisdom and kindness with me.