So sorry to hear the sad news Claire, I am sure that you were a great comfort to your dad and that he knew you were with him at the end. What a lovely thought playing songs that he liked. God bless you and your family and look after yourselves.

I really hope he knew and could hear the music and words. I asked the nurse to turn his monitors off as didn't want the last sound he heard to be alarms. I hope he passed feeling peaceful and uplifted.

Thank you for your kind words

Hi Claire

It sounds like you have been through so much emotional pain and pressure. To be with him at the end is what he would have wanted and those moments are unique in life and it shows just how strong you have been for him. Words of comfort can never help with the loss and pain but you will feel better and know that he knew that you loved him. I think grief is such a personal experience so take comfort in the fact that you were there and he knew it iand that is the most you can do. My sincere concolences and my admiration for your strength. The people on this site are so kind and the genuine care and compassion is overhwleming. You helped him, loved him and held him. That's pretty awesome. Take care of each other

Paul

Claire, 

I’m so sorry to hear of your father’s passing and send strength to you and your mother.

I understand the emotions you are feeling. My mother passed away this week after a courageous battle and I felt/feel so empty. The first day was just awful and I literally didn’t know how I would overcome it... I still don’t however, each day I’m thankful that there is no more suffering. I remember all of the amazing memories I have and often laugh and cry at these. 

Although the pain is still immense and I have moments of emptiness, I take each day as it comes and allow myself to grieve whether this be through tears or laughter.

Be kind to yourself - you can still be there for your dear mother whilst allowing your emotions to be shown... it’s natural. 

I hope you get some comfort celebrating your dads life, one that sounds hugely courageous. May he rest in peace. 

xxx

Claire,

What a comfort you must have been for your dad and will continue to be for your mom. I am so glad you were able to be there at the last. I missed being there for my dad's passing and it is hard. You will not recover from this pain and you will have to learn to function in life with its presence. Focus on caring for your mom but don't forget to take time for yourself to grieve in whatever manner is right for you. Please accept my condolences and prayers. 

Laura x

Thank you for your lovely message Laura x

Thank you for your lovely message and I'm so sorry for your loss of your Mother too. I cried all yesterday and just can't stop thinking of the last time we spoke when he was still the Dad I knew not the one fighting for his breath hooked up to machines. His cancer was terminal but it's all happened so quickly I wasn't prepared within 24 hours of going into hospital he had passed away. I'm just grateful I was with him right until the end he wasn't talking or opening his eyes but I feel he knew we were there. I played him his favourite music from Les Miserables and he passed away to a lovely Welsh Male Choirs version of  You Raise Me Up. Just a long road ahead now with not just the organization of his funeral but how to cope with our grief. Thank you sincerely for taking the time to respond to my post when you are grieving and in pain yourself. I wish you my condolences and hope your pain eases with each day too.

Much Love Claire xxxx

Paul,

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post it is so kind and your words are lovely. I just can't believe he has gone and so quickly 24 hours after going into hospital he passed away. I am just glad I was with him right up to the end just can't get the images out of my mind.

I cried all day yesterday but I will try and take some strength from your lovely message.

Thank you again Paul

Claire xx

Thank you for your kind words back Claire. 

How lovely that your father got to hear his favourite songs and he had excellent taste might I add. He would have heard it even if he didn’t shows signs and he also would have felt so much love for him in that room. Try and take comfort in that... easier said than done sometimes I know.

I’ve cried every day since my mother passed away and still find it so painful but that’s okay, it just confirms how much our parents are missed. 

The funeral planning is tough as it makes it real but it will keep you occupied. 

There isn’t much I can say that will offer comfort at this time but my only advice is to talk with your mother, friends, anyone about the memories you have. To remember the times I had with mum has brought me some comfort. 

Again, sending strength xxx

Hi Claire,

My sincere sympathy on the passing of your dad. He has fought this for a long time, but no matter how long, we are ofter taken by surprize at the end.

Don't worry about crying. This is a good release valve at times like this. Hearing is one of the last senses to go, so playing your dad's favourite music was inspirational.

I lost my mother-in-law in the early hours of yesterday morning. She had battled with dementia for a number of years and we had nursed her at home for the past 2 years. To be honest, it was a release for her and I'm glad that she is no longer suffering. My 97 year old father-in-law who has been with her for 80 years is totally devastated.

Like you with your mum, we need to support him. It is not easy doing this when we are grieving ourselves. At present it is all very raw, but we will gradually come to terms with it all.

Life isn't always fair, is it?

We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx