Hi Parmz

You ask what you need to if you don't you will just wished you had.

I used to write questions down so that I did not forget anything, this could be a good way of forewarning your husband as you could show him and ask is there anything you think I've missed.

Doctors don't know everything for certain and can not really give you exact outcomes but get as much information as you can.

Good luck River

Hi again.  Sorry you are going through such an awful time.  I agree that you should ask for what you need to know.  You have enough problems without tiptoeing around your husband's feelings - sorry if that is harsh but it is not going to help him if he is being allowed to believe something that is not true.  You are a nice person worrying about others but I think that given your situation you have to do what is right for yourself.  Rooting for you - the world needs more good people.  Annie

Dear Parmz

I am sorry to her your plight, but you are entitled to be down all that you are going through. But like River has replied you have questions you should ask for your own peace of mind. I totally understand you do not want to upset your husband but I beleive he would want to know so that he is able to support you in the way required!  Take care lovely lady, I hope all goes as well Thursday.

Best wishes Crock

Hi Parmz, i can not tell you how to be, or what to say however it sounds as though you would like to know what the future may hold for you, which is difficult but its your future, these days Cancer care is as honest as you would like it to be. My step daughter 44 went through a situation like this not that long ago she was a grade 4 and she is not only Cancer free now but has a very good full time job and and raising her young family. I hope you make a decision soon so that you can move forward, i wish you a very positive future.

Thank you Janx, I am lucky to also work for a company who are super chilled out, I can work from home as there is no pressure. and They are still paying me full wages. You have lifted my hopes knowing your daughter is in remission so pleased for her and you thank you xx

Thank you to everyone for all your advice. Kind of looking forward to tomorrow now to get things back on track. Many thanks again xx

Hi Parmz,

I am so sorry that you feel like this, but it is not unusual given a stage 4 diagnosis. Do you take anti-depressants? It might be helpful for you to take something if you are feeling like this. The one question that most families and patients nearly always want to know is usually how much time they have left.

The person in the best position to tell you this is your consultant. Drawing up a list of questions along with your hubby, is a good way of testing the water with him. I have had cancer for 8 years and have found it so much easier to cope with since my hubby started accompanying me to my appointments and, he now knows as much as I do about my condition.

Having said all this, there are also those who don't want to know anything about their prognosis. Remember, whatever you decide to do, that doctors can be wrong too. At best their prediction is just a 'guesstimate' and doctors have been way out on either side of their estimates, sometimes by many years.

I realise that my reply is too late for your appointment today, but hope that it went well.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine

thank you for the message so the doctors have changed my chemo to something called Lomustine took 4 tablets yesterday, I was shocked just one days worth but I have to go back in 3 weeks to get more each tablet was 40mg and a bright blue colour like the raspberry slush puppies you get in summer. 

I.m doing okay I refuse to take anti depressants I.m not depressed yet lol

i hope you have a great weekend 

regards

parmz xx

Hi Parmz,

I am glad to hear that your chemo tablets were changed yesterday and hope that they manage to reduce the tumour. Did you get round to asking your consultant what the outcome might be?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx