Should I go to the chapel of rest

My mum struggled with cancer for the last 2 years, she recently went downhill very fast and died two days ago. I am 21 and she was 49. I am an only child, she is my only parent and I don't have anyone to talk to about this sort of thing. I have been asked by the funeral director whether I want to view the body or not and initially I said no but now I'm not sure, I saw her 4 days before she died and she was alright. I just don't want to regret not seeing her. I currently feel numb as if my body hasn't processed it and is trying to carry on as normal so not sure if it would help or not. Sorry for the ramble!

  • Hi there ..

    So sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... and at such a young age, it's doubly heart breaking...

    Think carefully .. as only you can decide ... one parent , I did, and in a way wish I hadn't,  as my mum was warm and funny, and loveing and always smiling ... it took me a long time to stop seeing her cold and just a she'll.. my dad I didn't, and I'm glad as I remember him, being funny, and the dad that is in my mind is warm, and lovely memories...

    But some regret not going ..  and sometimes that loved one looks pieceful .. others say it wasn't them .. but listen to your heart, and what ever you decide, don't look back with regret .. your mum is the mum you knew pre cancer .. the one that held you, taught you to walk, and watched you grow up .. cancer trys to take that away, and replace those memories with cancer ones ... don't let it .. 

    But your mum is in your heart now... take her with you on your journey through life... I'm sure whatever you decide, she will understand ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx 

  • Hello,

    my mum passed away in 2017 when I was 14 she was 35, I watched her take her last breath and pass away in hospital. I did go and see her in the chapel of rest, and honestly it helped me quite a lot. Of course it was upsetting but I believe it helps with the grieving process.

    It was nice to be able to place things in her coffin that she could take to heaven with her and to give her a final kiss on her head. 
    Just remember weather you decide to go or not is your decision and weather you want to or not. Don't get pressured into doing anything you don't want to. 
     

    very sorry for your loss and stay strong. If there is anyone you need to talk to, these chats are very, very helpful xx

  • So sorry for your loss. It's such a deeply personal choice as to whether you go. I didn't...I have not regretted that.
    Saying that, everyone else in my family did go and are very happy that they did. They found it to be a positive experience in terms of their healing. I was the only one who didn't go xxx

  • Thank you so much for your kind words. I think I would like to remember my mum how she was before, I don't think I would want to see her without any glow or happiness. Once again thank you so much for your reply x

  • Thank you for your reply, you have helped a lot. I think I would like to remember my mum in her life rather than in her death. Once again thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry for your loss also xx

  • I get you....they were my thoughts too...x

    Hope you're getting on ok xxx

  • So sorry to hear you are going through this. My dad passed a week ago today. I didn't get to see him as he sadly had Covid aswell as the cancer. At first I really wanted to see him but the decision was taken out of my hands and now in a way I'm glad I didn't see him as I prefer to remember him in happier times. It's definitely a personal choice and it's entirely up to you. It's only the body that dies but the soul lives on. Xx