Hi ya ..

Is mum on her own?? Does someone else have a key .. that could check on her .. that way your safeguarding mum .. though I know when I first wake up, l sound pretty confused.. untill I come around ...so I'd give it an hour from last phone call and call her again .. if she still sounds confused ... then call someone in .. 

Better to be safe ... fingers crossed she's o.k ... Chrissie xx

Thanks chriss

i called her about an hour ago and she did sound a bit more normal ish! She said she had diahorea so was waiting for that to subside before she went downstairs, she had taken some paracetamol and the aching had got better.

I will be calling her again in a little while and one of the neighbours is going to ‘pop’ in on her way home from work.

Being so far away makes everything difficult as i can’t just call in every day to check on her I have to rely on what she tells me on the phone.  I will see her on Friday and will judge how things have changed since I was up last weekend.

it is such a worrying time and I hate that she is on her own

this forum is a god send for people like me who just need to hear a voice of reason

thanks x

Hi there .. 

Really glad she's o.k ..ish ... ; ))

I lived away from my mum and dad for 20 years married to a soldger  ... so I know that feeling .. only had the last 3 years living near her ..but I was lucky, there was three daughters which made it o.k .. 

One day , a year before she died .. she wasn't answering her phone .. next door nabour said doors were locked .. so we called ambulance.. they brought the police along to brake in .. we all arrived to mum toddling along the street to her house .. she'd been on a day trip with her O A P ladies ...

So we all had a cup of tea ... and police and ambulance were really kind about it ... Chrissie x 

It’s 1 day later and I came to visit her and tried to take her to hospital for some blood tests as gp thinks she is anaemic and district nurses could not draw any blood. We could not get her out of her chair so had to call an ambulance and we are waiting for a doctor as her bp is 80/46 and they say as end of life blood test and a transfusion may not be worth it! 

This is so sudden.

Bless ya ..

Just go with the flow .. hold her hand ..  that blood pressure is low .. if I were you, I'd tell them she can't go home now .. she needs looking after .. even a hospice ... that's what I'd want for me ... 

At least your with her now ... Will be thinking of you both ...  but know, she just may be letting go now .. sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie xx

Mum is still hanging on although she has told me she wants to go, I have told her that’s ok and yet her body doesn’t seem to let her let go.  It’s heartbreaking to watch, she is in a lot more pain and discomfort today.  Her mouth is very sore even with medication and swallowing is hard for her.  I hope she doesn’t have to suffer this torture much longer, she doesn’t deserve this.

Hi Cmat64, I don't really know what to say, but I have been reading this forum on and off for a while (during the last 2-3 years) and today I finally signed up when I saw your post.

My husband (who has just turned 44) has terminal bowel cancer that has spread all over the place and he has been having that 'fat tongue' thing too. I guess I just saw similarities between what your mum and my husband are going through and felt like I wanted to say you're not alone. It's so difficult to see them in pain and struggling, so I hope that your mum is not suffering, in whatever form that needs to take.

Hi ZBD

i was sorry to hear that your young husband is suffering with this awful disease.

mum is getting progressively weaker and yesterday she was in a lot more pain.  It is hard to watch her clearly in pain,  everyone at the hospital are doing so much for her, however, it becomes more difficult when consultant says I will up her pain relief with something for the Palliative care team to recommend something else, this resulted in mum being in a lot more pain and distress yesterday and last night. Thank god for the nursing staff who keep topping up her pain relief.

the palliative care teams policy is to not overdo the drugs to early, I get that but she shouldn’t receive pain meds and then need more half an hour later! I will be having a serious chat with the team today.

the hardest thing in all this is the suffering she is going through she even said to me that she was ‘sorry it was taking so long’ how heartbreaking is that.  She wants to go but her body hasn’t given up yet which is why life can be so cruel, after the awful events we as a family have suffered in the last 10 yrs how can she not be allowed to just drift off comfortably.  We constantly tell her we love her and what a wonderful mum she has been. 

I hope you husband is well for a long time sending hugs

Hi there ..

How heartbraking for you all .. if it were me, I'd want as much pain relief as poss .. sometimes they still don't get things right... her body sure is holding on .. bless her .. l hope she gets her angel to wrap their wings around her soon ... and take her home ...

I'm sorry I missed you yesterday ... there's so so many on here ... cancer never takes a day off .. but I'm thinking of you .. and I'm sending you one of my spiecial nanny hugs ..

Chrissie xx

I lost my mum today. It has been a difficult day, she was being sick this morning constantly due to the thrush her mouth and throat they felt like they were burning. Hospital staff did all they could and the best thing for her was more pain relief and sedation. She became settled but her breathing changed and I held her hand as she passed away at 3 this afternoon.  I am broken but she is back with my dad and brother and I already miss her.