In August the professor at  a major hospital told my wife that she has an agressive terminal brain tumour. He felt that an operation was not feasable, and that any other therapy would not make much difference. My wife said quite quickly that we'd better make the most of the time left. Our two daughters who live in Ireland and New Zealand brought our four grandchildren over for what was a wonderful fortnight. My 77 year old partner led us all in morning exercises and had to be told to slow down...she has not one grey hair on her head and the same figure as when she was 30. She had run for British Universities whist training to be a teacher. Since retirement she had written four books. A vibrant, intelligent, funny, loving, creative woman. She became a bit more introverted during the next month or so, but kept trying to read and write, with increasing difficulty. On the day of the anniversary of our first meeting 52 years ago she suffered a seizure and spent 24 hours in A&E. After that on returning home I needed to attend to her needs 24 hours a day as she became weaker. The physical deterioration was a shock to me, I hadn't been warned of that. We were "supported" by a Hospice at home team whose unpredictable timing made daily organisation very difficult. I then fell down the stairs and further damaged an already painful arthritic knee. Emotionally and physically exhausted, the joint pain made it impossible for me to carry on being her primary carer. Just before Christmas she was admitted into a care home for nursing care for two weeks respite. Since then her condition has deteriorated and she can no longer talk in sentences, cannot bear her own weight and is incontinent. She sleeps most of the day. She is not in pain... Last week we both got Covid and I tested positive for 11 days, so could not visit. I have no friends in the area (we returned to live in UK just before Covid lockdown) and no relatives in England.. Feeling in despair, exhausted and very lonely.