Hiya Rainbow91, I'm not sure if this is very good advice I am about to give you, but I would have that nice hot bath, get roaring drunk on the wine and have a right good old cry at the same time!  Self care or self pity, it makes no difference.  You have a right to your feelings and there is no law that says we have to have a stiff upper lip and 'keep everything in'  24/7.  EVERYONE feels frightened sometimes and there is no shame in wanting to cry, scream, rant and punch the walls at the same time.  Good luck for Thursday, wishing you all the best, Violet, x

Violet girl. 
I wish some How I could give you a hug.

you know the kind, big hugs can't barely breath ?

after having been through it at the beginning of the year (and to be honest still havnt had the all clear after surgery and treatment) I really wanted to take this all on the chin. But it's not gone how I planned. I'm so scared.  I guess I was new to it all before and didn't know what to expect. Where as now I remember it all so clearly. The surgery the tests the waiting the side effects etc.
 

maybe you are right and ignore everything I'm telling myself and just feel how I feel I'll probably wake up tomorrow feeling 100 times better than how I have been waking recently after nightmares and hardly much sleep. (Probably wake up with a hangover! Lol!)

Thankyou again for your words. I feel a tiny bit less crazy.

You're welcome mate, sending you a virtual  'can't barely breath'  hug and much love, Violet, x

Hi,

Personally, I pin people to the wall talking about it, until I begin to bore myself!  
Fingers crossed for good news for you.

xxx